Love Hurt
by Amaneyei25
Summary: Loving someone for some people is a bliss moreover if that person reciprocated our feeling. For Fuji it's a curse for loving someone like Tezuka. He couldn't break the the curse even if he already surrendered, he knew that Tezuka would never be his for Tezuka already had someone else. AU. I don't own Prince of Tennis.
1. Chapter 1

My new story is here! It will be more complicated. Really,,Tezuka and Fuji made me! Lol. Enjoy! Some grammatical errors still there. But I hope it is not serious.

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The first time Tezuka met Fuji was when Fuji's family moved next door. He was just arrived at home and his mother called him to greet their guests. In their living room were Fuji's family and his family -only his mother though- gathered.

"Kunimitsu! Let's meet our new neighbors! This is Fuji Yoshiko-san." Tezuka gave her a greeting and polite bow.

"This is Yuta-kun. Isn't he a cute little angel?" Tezuka Ayana told him the name of a little boy in his arm. She was giving him a mouthful smile. He was chubby and not really amusing. What's so great about this little boy?, thought young Tezuka.

"And that is his older brother. Syusuke." His mother added.

Tezuka's eyes were diverted to a boy next to Fuji Yoshiko. If Tezuka's mother didn't tell him,he wouldn't find the boy mentioned. He was so small and he sat beside his mother. In his hand was a glass of orange juice. He sipped his drink and stirred his juice, seeing the juice swayed. Another sip and he frown.

"Mama, why is this juice tasted funny?"

"Ara? Really? Is the juice tasted bad? I did check the expired date. Wait a minute okay? I'll go change it to new one."

"No need Tezuka-san. My Syusuke has a bit different preferences than ordinary people. He liked his drink spiked with wasabi." Fuji-san explained.

Tezuka sat on the sofa across little Syusuke. Because Fuji just a little boy, his feet didn't touch the floor. His small body gave him a girly feature. If it was not his name Tezuka would think he was a girl. His light brown hair almost touch his shoulder. His hands were very small.

"Onii-chan,what cha name?" Fuji started to speak. He had the same smile with his mother.

"It's Tezuka Kunimitsu."

"Mitsu nii-chan?"

Tezuka's left eye twitched. "No! You can't cut my name like that!"

"I'm sowwy... What shou' I call you then?"

Ayana laughed at him. "Oh! Leave him be, Kunimitsu. He is just three years old boy. I swear my Kunimitsu is acting like an old man more than his own father."

"It's not!" Tezuka frown.

His mother ignored him. "Why don't you show Syusuke your room? I think you would like to show him your book collection?"

"Okay." Tezuka sighed and walked out of the living room. Fuji followed him with his little feet.

They spent the rest of the evening at Tezuka's room. They argued about how Fuji called Tezuka. The argument last for hours -it's rather Fuji asked why and why, again and again and Tezuka tried to explain the reason to him- and finally decided "Tezuka nii-chan" was favorable to both of them. At that time Tezuka was seven years old.

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Tezuka was on his way home, he wanted to reach home ASAP to check on his plants at the backyard after big rain when he heard a ruckus behind a neglected building. He tried to search the source. He walked around the building and found a bunch of kids yelling and throwing mud to something.

He chased them away using a little shove and low kicks.

"Well! Just you see Syusuke-chan! You will pay for this! It's cheating to call a bigger friend!" one of the kids yell at the thing they were bullied before.

Tezuka ran to Fuji quickly to make sure he was okay. When he reached him he was shocked. Fuji balled his body as if to protect something under himself. Fuji Yuta was sobbing under him. His tears and snot smeared his face.

"It's okay Yuta. They had gone. See? Tezuka nii-chan had chased them away. Shhh... It's okay. Nii-chan will protect you." Fuji tried to cheer on Yuta.

"Are you okay,Fuji?" Tezuka kneeled beside them and pulled out his handkerchief. He dabbed it into Fuji's soiled face. He took Tezuka's handkerchief and cleaned Yuta's face instead.

They went home together. Tezuka heard from his mother that they were bullied because of Fuji's delicate feature. When the kids couldn't get a wanted reaction, they changed their target to Yuta. They got Fuji's attention like they wanted. Tezuka decided to help Fuji, he tried to teach Fuji some basic self-defense techniques but Fuji seemed doing it half-heartedly. Tezuka explained to him the importance of self-defense but brushed off by Fuji.

"I know how to make them miserable without using self-defense techniques." answered Fuji when Tezuka asked why he didn't want to learn.

A nine years old Tezuka was sure that Fuji's technique was more dangerous than his self-defense.

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Fuji's sixth birthday was already passed. He got many presents and he loved his Kuni (a cactus given by Tezuka) very much. He would show it to everyone he met. He would tell Tezuka how the cactus grew. Tezuka spent many nights dreaming about a big cactus chasing him.

Two months after his birthday, Fuji stopped talking about his Kuni. Tezuka felt blessed but also curious. His curiosity got the better of him. One day when Fuji came to play, he asked about Fuji's cactus nonchalantly. Fuji surprised him with a big wail.

Fuji cried and explained at the same time. After a long time-consuming decoding his words, Tezuka knew that Yuta took a more liking at his cactus. When Fuji didn't give it to him,Yuta threw the cactus pass through the garden and was run over by a car.

Tezuka knew how Fuji loved his brother. He never cry although Yuta took all of his things but losing his Kuni made him cried like this. Tezuka felt sorry to him. He told Fuji how he was a brave and a great big brother to Yuta.

Fuji's smile that day worth all of Tezuka's hard work to cheer him up.

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After the cactus incident Fuji became an important part in Tezuka's life. For Tezuka, Fuji was his little brother but to Fuji, Tezuka was his everything. Tezuka was his best friend, his brother, hero and beloved person.

"Tezuka nii-chan! Happy valentine day!" Fuji showed at his house early in the morning at valentine day. He brought a small box of chocolate that made by him and his mother. When Tezuka ate it he had to empty his two liters water bottle plus some ice cream to wash away the wasabi flavour.

"Tezuka nii-chan! Happy Easter day!"

"Tezuka nii-chan! Happy birthday!"

"Merry Christmas! Tezuka nii-chan!"

When Christmas came by, Fuji would stay at Tezuka's house (Fuji's family actually scheduled to visit their grandparents and sister at Chiba but Fuji prefer staying with Tezuka).

Their togetherness weren't unrecognizable by their family. For Tezuka's family it was like having a second son and for Fuji's family it was like having a place for Syusuke to learn and behave.

When another Christmas came, a twelve years old Syusuke made up his mind to confess his feeling to his beloved Tezuka nii-chan. He had convince his mother to allow him celebrating Christmas with Tezuka at the city.

He had made a perfect plan. They would have a dinner at their favorite restaurant near the town's square. After the dinner they would enjoy the romantic view at the town's square and the big fountain. When the clock hit midnight he would give his present to Tezuka and confess his feeling to Tezuka. Perfect!

They promised to meet at the bench near the town's square fountain.

Tezuka never arrived.

Tezuka's household phone rang at one a.m. It was from Fuji's mother. She asked whether Syusuke stayed over at their place.

Tezuka froze. He forgot about their appointment.

As a junior in their high school he received many new responsibilities. He felt enthusiast. He joined tennis club and also worked as the class representative.

He didn't have so much time to meet and play with Fuji lately. Last time he saw him was when Fuji asked him to go out with him. Tezuka nodded and brushed him off that time. He had to catch the train. He was kept busy until the winter holiday. There were reports to be filled, exercise to be done, meeting to be attended. He even came home late at the Christmas's eve. Totally forgetting about Fuji and their promise.

He changed in a record time and ran to the promised place. That winter was colder than last one. He hoped Fuji was fine. He ran fast although his feet cried and wanted some rest. His heart raced and he wonder whether because of his running or him worrying about Fuji. He was sure the later one was the reason.

When he arrived, he ran around the fountain. His lungs were crying for some air but it didn't stop him to run. He was really afraid about Fuji's wellbeing. Then he found him. Fuji was there, sitting on the bench near the fountain. He hugged himself. He wore a thick black jacket. There was an earmuffs on his head. His hair was covered by snows.

Tezuka ran to his direction. When Fuji saw him his blue eyes were opened and blinking in happiness.

"You've come."

Tezuka untied his scarf and put it around Fuji's neck.

"You idiot! Why are you still waiting here? You should come home after waiting for two hours!"

"But..we promised to meet here,ne? What happened? Did you get some accident, Tezuka nii-chan? I'm so worried but I didn't want to leave this place incase you came and didn't find me." Fuji's puffed out some air.

"I'm sorry, Fuji. I forgot." Tezuka said with a grimace.

"You forgot?" Fuji blinked.

"Yes. I had some works to do at school. It was really a busy week, it's my fault forgetting our plan." Tezuka exhaled and looked so pitiful. His face showed how tired and disappointed he was.

"I..it's fine. I see. It's okay. I got it." Fuji blinked several time, trying to wash away his disappointment and sadness. He bought some cakes this evening to share it with Tezuka but he ate them while waiting. He was hungry and lonely. He wanted to call but couldn't leave this place. It was really cold. There were some parents asked whether he was lost but he held up and believed that Tezuka was on his way. But no,he didn't come because he just forget about their appointment. For Tezuka, his school was more important than their friendship.

Tezuka asked for his forgiveness but Fuji didn't really pay attention. He stood up and walked away. After several feet away he stumbled and dropped dead on the snow.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi,there! It's the second chapter! Thanks for Chico-san who pointed about my ambiguous sentences. I'll try my best to write better. Please enjoy! Review it when you found something weird,funny or unbelievable. Lol..

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Tezuka brought Fuji home. He was panicked,Fuji's face was so cold. When they arrived ath Fuji's home,Fuji's mother assured him that Fuji was okay. Tezuka felt guilty for his condition. Fuji was sick for next two days but he was grounded so Tezuka couldn't meet him until the new year was coming.

The New year came by, Fuji once again tried to confess. He didn't want to surrender until he found Tezuka's answer. He asked Tezuka to go to temple and watch sunrise together.

When the first sunrise arose, he told Tezuka how he felt toward the stoic man.

Tezuka knew Fuji's feeling toward him for a while now. But he couldn't muster a will to reciprocal it. It was just wrong. They were brothers. They couldn't be more than that. What would their mother said,it's wrong. "I'm faltered but I'm sorry. I can't accept your feeling."

"Bu..but why?"

"You are a little brother to me,Fuji. Nothing more." Tezuka put his hand on Fuji's head and messed his hair. Tezuka hoped his words were enough to convince Fuji.

"Is there really no chance for me?" Fuji asked after a moment with a sad smile.

"Aa.. You'll find someone better than me. Still, it's too soon for you. Yet when you have a lover, you should introduce him to me. I need to make sure he is the right one for my brother." Tezuka said with an indistinct smile.

How could I find someone better when you are the best for me? Fuji thought. He felt his heart was stabbed by millions knife.

"Let's go home,Fuji. We still have to greet our family."

"Saa.. Mama and Yuta will come here to pray. I'll stay and wait for them."

"Okay. I'll wait and greet them first."

"NO! I mean,,no. It would be rude to your parents not coming home quickly. I heard Ayana-san complaining about your absence at home,Tezuka nii-chan. 'It was really lonely here after Kunimitsu enter high school' was Ayana-san saying. Really Tezuka nii-chan, it's rude to leave her alone, you know." Fuji chuckled.

Tezuka frown. "Hn.. I understand. I'll go first. Give your mother my best regards." He left Fuji alone among the crowded.

"Yeah,sure." Fuji's heart broke along with Tezuka's distance.

That year he didn't pay a new year visit to Tezuka's house as he usually did.

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Tezuka's seventeenth birthday was coming. His mother was overjoyed to make a sweetseventeen party for him. She arranged a small party at their house. She invited their family, Tezuka's friends and Fuji's family of course.

Fuji Yoshiko also giving some helping hands. His Syusuke was only thirteen and it was still a long time to reach seventeen for a leap year kid. So it was Fuji's job too to make sure the party went well.

Fuji and Tezuka felt awkward toward each other, especially Fuji. He had to act as if nothing happened and Tezuka couldn't be more oblivious. Fuji knew he was just a little brat in Tezuka's eyes but his feeling was true. He would wait and showed Tezuka that he was a fine man and they were made for each other.

The day before party was the busiest day ever. Both of their mother moved all around and making a long list to be checked. Fuji stayed at his room and looked at his blank book. He already finished his homework and read all of his history book.

Ayana-san's voice woke him from his daydreaming. It seemed that Ayana-san need to buy something with his mother. That meant Tezuka was left alone. It had been a long time since last Fuji met him so Fuji went to Tezuka's house.

His house was quiet as usual. Fuji opened the door and walked in. He greeted but heard no replies. It's odd,he thought. When he walked into the living room he heard grunts, one from Tezuka's and one from an unknown person.

He opened the door and was shocked by what he saw. Tezuka was kissing a man who he never saw before. They kissed like there was no tomorrow. Some of Tezuka's uniform's buttons were opened. Fuji gasped at them.

They separated and looked at Fuji, surprised.

"Who is this cheeky brats? He dare to disturb Oresama's time with Oresama's lover?" He gave Fuji an arrogant look.

"Fuji. Do you need something?" Tezuka asked while buttoning his uniform. His cheeks were flushed.

"N..no.. I just.. I thought that.. But I don't.. I think.. Excuse me." He closed the door and ran to his home.

He heard Tezuka's shouting but he was stopped by his lover. Fuji hoped that Tezuka would chased him and told him everything was okay. But he didn't.

How could he be so blind? Tezuka would never be his. He had a lover now, a lover who suited him more, who could accommodate Tezuka's need and want, who was as old as him, a mature man not a cheeky brat as Tezuka's lover remark. He never saw this come. He always thought that Tezuka would be his. When he kept his patient and did his best,someday Tezuka would be his.

He was like a fool waiting for Tezuka. Tezuka must had been laughing forever with his new boyfriend. He was so fed up and loathe himself for keeping his hope.

He chuckled, what a big moron he was. Fuji spent his day crying and trying to forget his sadness. It wasn't easy but he tried. His mother was worried sick about his son. Fuji was a strong child who can overcome his troubles without her help, he never needed her help ever. So when she saw his son cried till sleep, it broke her heart too.

Fuji came home late deliberately on Tezuka's birthday. He threw away Tezuka's birthday present. A silver necklace made by himself, he put all of his heart there. Then a thought washed over him. It was not Tezuka didn't see him as a suitable boyfriend. The truth was Tezuka didn't see him at all.

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Tezuka came over his house several times to make up with him like they did when they had fought but he always found new ways to avoid him. He was a fool twice and didn't want to repeat his mistake again. He learned more than enough,thank you.

They kept their distance till Tezuka graduated from his senior high school. Tezuka family once again threw a party for him.

Fuji was forced to attend the party. He couldn't say no when his beloved cactus and book were in danger. His mother threatened to burn them if he refused to attend.

"But I can't face him. When I see his face,my feeling will go rampant. I'm not ready."

His mother gave hime an understanding smile. "You'll never be ready in your life. When love struck on you,you were not ready. When the love broke you, you were not ready but time will make you stronger. When you have found another love,you will still not ready.."

"Mom.."

"You still not ready,yes but you will be more experienced. You will learn to trasure it more. We live only once. Honey,when you chose your choice just remember not to regret it later days. I'll wait downstairs." His mother put his cactus back to windowsill and his book on the table.

Fuji sighed and walked downstairs to his waiting mother.

"Thank you, mother." He hugged her.

"You are very welcome, darling."

Fuji and his mother arrived on time. Tezuka's grandfather was giving his speech to their families. His mother then joined Tezuka Ayana to prepare the food. Fuji sat on the farthes corner. He kept his eyes on the wall, staring at nothing.

Fuji kept avoiding Tezuka throughout the party. He was a coward, he knew it but it was not easy to pretend that everything was okay. That Tezuka didn't break his heart when he rejected his confession, that he broke it again when Tezuka found a lover without telling him. Finally they had finished their dinner, the guests were already going home and Fuji's mother was no where to be seen.

Fuji walked to the front door, ready to go home. His mother could go home when she was ready. It's not like their home was far into the forest. His mother was an adult for god's sake. She could go back by herself when she finished her business.

"Fuji."

As usual, he couldn't escape from Tezuka's sharp eyes.

"Tezuka nii-chan. Congratulation on your graduation!" Fuji faked a smile.

"You will go home now?"

"Un,I still have a test tomorrow. I need to do some summaries too." He lied.

"Stay."

"I don't think so-"

"Please? We need to talk."

Fuji relented. Tezuka walked him to his garden.

"I didn't see Yuta today. Where is he?"

"He is at his school's dorm. He will come home next week."

"Aa.. sou ka."

Fuji stood still when Tezuka sat on his patio.

"Fuji,please sit down."

"I think it's not.."

"I'll go study abroad."

"... I see. It's great. Where are you going?"

"Germany." Fuji clenched his fists. It's so far away from Japan.

"That's good. I wanna see the buildings there, they have great architecture and art sense. People can learn many things there. I know you are destined to be a great man."

"Thank you."

"When do you plan to go? Are you going to be alone there?"

"Next week. No,Atobe will be there too."

Hearing that name made Fuji cringed and blinking away his tears. When he thought he would have a normal conversation with Tezuka,that name shattered his confidence. He would never win Tezuka over that man.

"I see. That's great." Fuji communication skills seemed to shrink into that two sentences after hearing Tezuka's word.

"I'll send postcard and call regularly."

"I'm sure your mother will be happy."

"I'll call you too."

"Saa. Don't bother with me. I'm fine hearing through Ayana-san. It's very expensive to call from abroad."

"Fuji.."

"Is there anything else, Tezuka nii-chan? It's late and I have to finish my study. Sorry,Ja ne."

Fuji started to walk away when suddenly Tezuka hugged him. He placed one hand behind Fuji's head and one on his shoulder. A brotherly hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,Fuji."

"What is it? There is nothing wrong,really. It's fine. I'm happy for you, Tezuka nii-chan. Good luck." Fuji detached himself from Tezuka's embrace. They were separated by the length of his arm. He couldn't keep his composure any longer.

"Thank you,Fuji."

"Good bye." Giving the best smile he could. Fuji then walked out of Tezuka's house and his life.

Tezuka's depature gave Fuji some time to think. The distance between them made him realize that they would never meet again unless they put much effort to meet each other. That would be the last thing Tezuka would do. He was afraid of Fuji's feeling. He needed not to worry,Fuji would never make him uncomfortable by his feeling anymore.

Memories with Tezuka here would be his trasure but they also would be his past. He shouldn't cling on them forever. Someday,he would find his real soul mate just like what Tezuka wanted.

Fuji's mother official duty at Kanagawa finished when he graduated from his junior high school. Because of her job, his mother neeeded to move back to Chiba. Yuta stayed at his dorm which nearer to Chiba than their current house and his sister,Yumiko stayed at Chiba. He didn't see any importance to stay at Kanagawa, so when he graduated from junior high school he moved back to Chiba with his mom. Trying to start over his life there.

It's better this way,he thought.

Deep down his heart, he knew that all of them were lies and he was a bad liar.

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Next chapter would be a reunion between them. Please look forward for it! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the waiting! Here is the third chapter. Enjoy it!

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"So.. It's only time before they surrender to our demands right, Tezuka-san?"

"Hai,Yamato-san. We have confirmed with their side. You can rest assure now." Tezuka answered.

"Oh! Thank you very much! I'm glad to have you as my attorney. I almost lost hope about my case. You are a god send!" Yamato stood and shook Tezuka's hand.

"You are welcome,Yamato-san. It's my pleasure."

Tezuka sent his client to his door and met his employee's big eyes.

"Have a nice day,Yamato-san."

"Sure. You too." He walked away with a big smile which so opposed when he arrived at Tezuka's office with his case two months ago.

"What is it Sakaguchi?" Tezuka asked when his employee walked into his office.

"Tezuka-san! There was a call from your apartment management, apparently one of your room was burnt."

"What do you mean?"

"There was an accident next to your apartment. The kid who live next door burned his parents suitcases."

"And the reason is?"

"The apartment's manager said it's about divorce?"

Tezuka sighed. Another problem to be handled. "I see. I need to check the condition then. You can leave early today. We have no more client."

"May I go with you to your place? I could give you a helping hand."

Tezuka raised his brows but shrugged. His employee was a weird one but he did his jobs well.

His apartment was wrecked. The burnt on his room alone is not as bad as he thought but the rescue team use his room to evacuate the kid so they have to make a big hole on his wall. They put on a big canvass on his wall as an emergency wall.

"Whoa.. What a big hole. It's really bad." He looked his surrounding. "Is this a library?"

"Hn." Tezuka closed the cloth and checked his furniture.

"It's a good thing that the kid didn't burn your book too,Tezuka-san."

"Hn."

Tezuka then walked to his bookcase and checked whether it was damaged.

"What will you do now,Tezuka-san?"

"Aa.. I need to replace this wall. It's really great that I put this apartment on insurance. Hn.. I think I'll do some renovation to this room." His brain worked systematically about what he needed to do.

"Will you put a charge to them?"

"That wouldn't be necessary. He is just a kid."

"That's good to hear."

"Do you by a chance have an information about place to repair this place?" Tezuka asked.

"I know a great place to start. My girlfriend work at an interior design company. They have been known all around Japan. They are really recommended." Sakaguchi said with a pride.

"Hn.. Call them and arrange time for me."

"I can go there for you instead, Tezuka-san!"

"No. I wouldn't believe in people preferences. I would do it myself."

"I see. Is there anything else,Tezuka-san?"

"No. You can go home now." Tezuka felt a migraine rose.

"Okay. Thank you for your hard work!"

"Hn."

When Sakaguchi had gone home,he arranged his room. He put his books to the cleaner area. Boxes were moved. He classified them to the important one,not really important and to be thrown away. When he opened the box farthest inside the cupboard he found many memories crashed. He picked a framed photo. Long time ago,this photo brought so much pain and sadness but now he felt only dullness inside his heart. Time surely heal.

He walked to the window with it. The sky was dark now. He could see the stars blinked. He missed watching the stars together with his family. When he was a kid,he always went with his grandfather and father. Sometimes Fuji would tag along. It was fun. Fuji always knew when he was down,knew how to keep quiet and gave opinion when he needed. Fuji. How long was the last time he met him? He didn't hear anything from Fuji after he moved to Germany. The funny thing was he missed Fuji. His guilty overcome his courage to get in touch with Fuji. If he got the chance he would never let it go anymore.

He needed only one chance. The stars blinked as if assured him that everything was okay.

Once again,let me meet him.

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"Fuji-san! Good afternoon. Are you free this evening?"

"Ah,Kiko-chan. Good afternoon. I'm not sure. I have to finish this project,the deadline is day after tomorrow. What's the matter?"

"Uh.. Can you accompany me to take care of a customer?" her wavy black hair moved along with her.

"Saa..Sure. But I think you know better about their need more than I do." He put down his drawing pen and looked at her.

She giggled. "You are too generous. If it's a usual customer then I can still manage to meet their needs but this is my boyfriend's employer. He said that his boss was a strict and hard to please person. You would be nothing in his eyes unless you are perfect human being. I'm afraid to make a mistake. You are our well-known designer and always make the clients happy. Can you help me please? Please? I'll bring you Taka's Sushi with extra wasabi Sushi for you. Sooo.. Please?" she blinked her eyes desperately.

Fuji was going to decline her request because he needed to finish his works tomorrow and did some revision before handed it to the customer but seeing her desperate plea made him swayed.

"Maa.. I'll do it ne. What time are they coming?"

"Five. I'll treat you when we finish."

"It's okay. Just call me when they arrive. I'll help you."

"Oh! Arigato! You are a lifesaver! I owe you!" she walked away practically jumping.

Fuji chuckled and continued his works. He was happy to work here. They paid him well and the environment was really good. Sometimes the deadline was killing him but it worth all his hard work.

This request came from one of his clients family. They need a spacious place for playing ground but with a lot of sunlight. They also needed a safe material for their kids. A super non-toxic one. The customer's daughter had an allergic.

Fuji put all his concentration to his sketch so he missed Kiko's calling several times.

"Fuji-san! They have arrived. Let's go." Kiko called from her cubicle.

"Oh! It's the time already? Alright,let me tidy this first after that I'll join you at the gallery."

"Got it!"

Fuji put away his sketch and smoothing the unseen wrinkles on his shirt,trying to be professional. Customer services was not his sector. He prefer drawing sketch and drawing some designs which could be used anytime when customers like it.

He walked to the gallery. He could hear Kiko's and her boyfriend's voice. He had met her boyfriend several times so he could distinct his voice. The third sound was familiar but he dismissed his thought. It must be his imagination.

"Ah! Here he is! He is our great designer. I assure you,he is the best of the best. Fuji-san,let me introduce you to our customer. Tezuka-san,this is our designer,Fuji Syusuke. Fuji-san,this is my boyfriend's employer,Tezuka Kunimitsu,an attorney."

Fuji froze on his feet. It's not his imagination. It was the real Tezuka. Tezuka was right in front of his eyes. The feeling he buried for eleven years was trying to hop out of his heart. He swallowed and gave him a smile as usual.

"It's nice to meet you,Tezuka-san."

"Fuji."

Tezuka's voice had changed,it's deeper and richer. He was radiating a great aura,full of confidence and power. He was taller,his shoulder was boarders,his hair was still tousled but he still looked stunning as ever.

"Tezuka-san here need an advice about his house renovation. His house was burnt. So..."

Fuji didn't hear what Kiko said to him. His eyes were glued to Tezuka's. How could this happen? Wasn't Tezuka at Germany? Why was he here? Was he alone? Or was he still together with Atobe? Did he come to laugh at him? No. Tezuka would never come only to laugh at him. He pitied Fuji.

"So,Fuji-san,what do you think? When should we start doing some research to Tezuka-san's house?"

"...ry."

"Eh?"

"I'm sorry. I can't. I mean.. Can you give us a minute,Tezuka-san?" Fuji dragged Kiko to the partition section so their guests couldn't hear their conversation.

"What do you mean about research?" Fuji demanded.

"Well,didn't you hear me just now? His house was burnt. He needs renovation. He asked if we could provide his needs. You are the best candidate,Fuji-san."

"No. I agreed to accompany you not to do renovation for his house."

"Oh. But he needs it so much."

"I'm sorry but I have several deadlines to fulfill." Fuji insisted.

"I thought.."

Fuji didn't know what she thought before but working with Tezuka was the last thing he wanted. He had to stop it before he fell on a black hole called desperation.

"What about this. I will still help you now but we will ask Kai-san or Megu-san to do his renovation. They are our best."

Kiko thought for a moment and sighed. "Okay. I will contact them when we are starting to work."

"Great! Thanks,Kiko-chan!" Fuji smiled his best smile for her.

"I swear I never saw you reject a project before,Fuji-san. It's as if you are afaid of Tezuka-san,you know? Do you know him? He seemed so surprised when he saw you." her brown eyes blinked with an excitement.

He chuckled. "We did. It's a long time ago,I almost forgot about him." He lied. He never forgot about Tezuka even in his sleep.

#########################

To say Tezuka was surprised was an understatement. He was startled,happy,curious,and all above them. He never thought that he would meet Fuji in this place. He thanked the god or whatever the almighty above for granting his wish to meet again with Fuji.

These eleven years surely had changed a person. Fuji had always been a delicate boy with a unique appearance. A mature Fuji was the mixture of them. His hair which still a sandy brown was longer now,he tied it in a low ponytail and place it on his left shoulder. His face was more angular,he lost his baby fat,it seemed. But he was still shorter than him just like always. His height didn't reach Tezuka's chin. What a little man he was. He almost chuckled on his own thought.

Tezuka tried to talk to him but Fuji suddenly pulled the girl to more secluded area and talk about something which was shouldn't be known by him.

They went back to the gallery and Kiko started to make a list about what Tezuka needed for his renovation. Fuji walked behind them,three feet away from them. He answered only when they asked. Kiko and his boyfriend chatted with so much enthusiasm,they didn't aware of the atmosphere around Tezuka and Fuji.

When Tezuka talked to him again,he replied in his most formal voice. He tried not to see Tezuka's eyes. The more he refused to talk to them the more Tezuka pressed to talk to him. Oh,how Fuji wished to go back home and forget about this.

When they arrived at the cusion section,Fuji leaned on one of the sofa. He exhaled and looked at the clock. He just needed to bear another ten minutes and then went home. The longest ten minutes in his life.

His phone beeped and he checked it. One mail from Koujiro. He smiled.

 _Syuu,_

 _Finish ur work? What bout dinner?_

 _Yours,_

 _Koujiro._

He texted back a big yes with a smile. Koujiro always knew when to text and call when he needed it. He remembered the times when he missed Tezuka so much and Koujiro helped,chereed on him and sometimes lent a shouler to lean on. He was Fuji's bestest friend. Fuji was so grateful to meet a person like him. Fuji was in his daydream that made him didn't aware of Tezuka's curious eyes on him.

They took more time than Fuji's estimation. He never realized that choosing furniture for a room could take a long time. He was late. Koujiro had waited for half an hour.

"If you are not satisfied,we would change this idea and try to provide it as you wish,Tezuka-san. We want all of our customers satisfied with the results."

"Hn.."

"Anything else,Tezuka-san?"

"Aa.. It's okay. I think this is quite good."

"Let me know if you need anything else,Tezuka-san."

Tezuka grunted his agreement. Fuji moved from his chair and walked next to Kiko. She gave him a questioning look but he pretended not seeing it. They sent their guests to front door and Fuji dashed to his cubicle.

Kiko stopped him on his way out. Fuji had to surpassed his sigh when she started to talk. As a junior she knew that she wouldn't give many help to Fuji's problem but she assured him that she would be a good listener for his problem. Fuji smiled at her attention and promised to tell when the time was right. Satisfied with his answer,Kiko greeted him good night.

Kiko waved at him and walked away. Fuji was walking to Koujiro place when suddenly Tezuka appeared in front of him. "Fuji."

Fuji stopped and his face became paler. Why was he still here? He was sure that Tezuka walked away just now. "Tezuka."

"It's nice to see you again. We didn't have much conversation just now." He moved to Fuji while the spring wind blew and the sakura petals twirling around them.

"Yes. I thought you had gone home." Fuji blurted,he then walked again. He gripped his coat closer,he remembered his hurted heart when Tezuka told him they would never be more than friends. He was his brother,no more than that. His eyes blurred bit he blinked away the tears. He would never cry again,he promised himself.

"Aa.. I turned back. I want to talk to you." Tezuka walked right beside him.

"About?"

"Anything."

"Maa.. I'm sorry. I have a promise already. Next time maybe?"

Tezuka frown but he chose to keep silent. "Hn.. When will you be free?"

"I don't know. Next week?" What about never?,he said in his heart.

"Aa.. It's okay then. We still have much time to talk." They walked another meters and Fuji still silent. Tezuka changed the subject to attract Fuji's attention.

"About the renovation-"

"Saa.. I think it's better you talk to your planner. I'm not the one who in charge. Sorry." He increased his pace.

"Fuji,wait. I just want to talk." He grabbed Fuji's arm.

"About what,exactly? We have nothing in common to talk." Fuji tried to get away from his strong grip.

"Anything?" Tezuka replied hesitantly.

If Fuji was in a good mood he would laugh about their silly conversation. They didn't go anywhere,just talking in a circle.

Fuji looked up at Tezuka's face. He looked so lost,as if Fuji was the only one he knew in this world. Fuji felt a little guilty for his attitude toward Tezuka. Eventhough Tezuka had rejected his confession but he never treated him as a pest and always loved him like a brother. Fuji shouldn't treat him like this.

"Tezuka-"

"Syuu!"

Fuji and Tezuka shifted their eyes to the voice's source. Saeki Koujiro,a man with a monochromatic hair ran to their direction. His smile plastered on his mouth. He raised his brows when he found a man who looked so familiar to him next to Fuji.

"Koujiro." Fuji let out a relieved sigh.

"I waited for you. I thought you got an accident so you didn't show up. Do I have to pick you up everytime we have an appointment?" He teased.

"No. I'm on my way." Fuji moved a little to see Saeki's face clearer. Tezuka hadn't let Fuji's arm go.

Seeing how much Fuji was in trouble,Saeki decided to interfere. "Your friend?"

Fuji nodded. "This is Tezuka Kunimitsu,my childhood friend. This is Saeki Koujiro,my friend."

Saeki knew Tezuka from his name. A name which always sent Fuji into a deep melancholy. A name which almost a taboo for Fuji. But he pretended that he didn't know Tezuka and their history for Fuji's sake.

"Nice to meet you,I'm Saeki Koujiro." He eyed Tezuka with a faint assessment while Tezuka looked at him with a stern and stoic face.

"Aa.. I'm Tezuka Kunimitsu. Nice to meet you too."

"I thought you said you wanna show me a new place to eat." Fuji took Saeki's hand and squeezed it. It was their "Let's go back to my place and talk" code.

"Okay. It's my time to treat you." which mean "I will ask and you will answer" code.

"Sorry,Tezuka. I have to go now. Let's talk next time,ne?"

Tezuka wanted to protest but he held himself. "Hn.."

With that Fuji walked away with Saeki. He knew he was a cruel man but he couldn't help it. His heart was not ready. It would never ready. He only hoped that Tezuka would leave him alone like what he did in the past.

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Next chapter down. I'm not really satisfied with this chapter,but oh well. Will update next week! See ya. ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

Hi! Long time no updates! I've just finished this chapter. Thank you very much for Fujiyuki-san for your reviews. I don't think Fuji would ever get over Tezuka since he loved Tezuka so much. Lol. Vut I hope you still enjoy my story as before. For Kira-san,too. Thank you for your review. Hope you enjoy this chapter. For lemon-and-chai2B-san. Thank you very much for your review. I never think that someone as great as you would read my story. Thank you very much for my readers. I love you!

Enjoy!

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"Dhey won mey do dho dhe renobabion."

"Sorry,I don't get it. Can you swallow first before speaking?"

Fuji gulped down his food. He was peeved. Last week he met Tezuka at his office. He wanted the story end there. No more continuation. But people could only hope. He thought he already planned his moves carefully. He made Kiko to arrange Tezuka's schedule opposed his. So Tezuka's project would land to another designer automatically. He didn't know what Tezuka did to convince Kiko that ended with Fuji as his designer.

He brought up a jug of cold water,poured it to his glass and gulped it down too. This café was always full at lunch time. It's a good thing Saeki managed to make a reservation first. He could see many people enjoyed their food while chatting with their colleagues or partners. The hissing sound of the foods being served,a clink clanking sounds of their utensils and their laugh when they found something funny. His eyes moved back to Saeki who seated in front of him.

"They want me to do the renovation." Fuji took another bite from his lunch set and shoved it into his mouth. He knew his eating behavior was barbaric but he wouldn't care.

Fuji did his best to eat as sloppy as he could but he didn't know that he still looked so graceful and cute at the same time. Saeki chuckled. "Isn't it normal? You always have nice ideas,never lose inspiration. You have no new project right now,don't you?"

"It's Tezuka's project." Fuji said in firm voice,he tapped his fork along with each word.

Saeki whistled. "That's cool! How could it happen?"

"It's not cool! I think it's foolish. I don't know. My senpai called me this morning and ordered me to draw a blue print for a new project. I accepted it gladly and do you know what I found?"

"Santa's present!"

"For your amusement,yes. But not for me. How could I involve into this? I should check on it first. Now I regret it." He groaned.

"Can't you exchange with another designer?"

"If I could then I would."

"It's not bad you know. Just think it as a second chance." Saeki twirled his spaghetti and ate it up.

"Second chance in hell. No way."

"Well,what about a test? If you can finish this test you will be a 'superman'. You can let him go finally in the end. You have nothing to lose." But there is still a chance that you would find a love too,Saeki thought.

"I don't know. Should I?" Fuji let out a sigh. His food was left half eaten. He looked out of the glass window. People walked by. The sun looked so bright. The earth still moved even if he had been broken many times.

Dare he to hope?

Could he? What if something he didn't want happened? But what would happened next if he had nothing left? Many possibilities swirled in his brain. Fuji was lost in his own thought.

"Keep out your hand from my food,Koujiro. I haven't finished yet." Fuji said without looking at Saeki's direction.

Saeki's hand stopped mid-air when he heard Fuji's warning. "Whoops. Sorry." He gave him a sheepish grin.

#########################

That evening Fuji visited Tezuka's house. He needed to check the room's condition and it's owner.

No,forget the last part. He needed only the room and its condition.

Tezuka opened the door for him. He just finished his shower. His hair was still wet and he was wearing jerseys as a pyjama just like the past,Fuji noted.

"Good evening,Tezuka-san. I want to do some research before starting my sketch. May I come in?"

"Aa.." He opened the door wider for him.

He lead Fuji to his room. He already plastered the wall. The room was still empty from any furniture. He didn't know what to do next.

The day when he found that Fuji was not his designer he called the office immediately. He used his persuasion skill to change his designer to Fuji as he wished. He used many methods from asking,ordering until threatening. He almost begged but his pride didn't allow it. Now,when he thought again,he would beg if it's for Fuji. He was glad that Fuji accepted his request.

He leaned on the door frame with the crossed legs and arms. He looked at Fuji while the little man was taking a note around the room. He scribbled something and frown. He looked again and scribbled again. He repeated this ritual several times until he satisfied and smiled. He looked again at the room until his eyes met Tezuka's. He shifted his eyes. He took another note and then placed it into his bag.

"I have finished. Thank you very much,Tezuka-san. I will inform you about the development as soon as possible." Fuji walked toward the door.

"Why so formal? You don't have to call me with honorific."

"It's our office's regulation,Tezuka-san."

"Really? Even with your long time friend?"

"Yes. Excuse me,then,Tezuka-san."

"Had you eaten yet?"

"Soon after I arrived at home. If you would excuse me."

"Let's have some dinner before you go home?"

"I shouldn't. We have rules which we shouldn't impose the clients place and privacy." He created an excellent refusal in less than a minute. Bravo!

"I thought you said you have finished your job. So it's fine. We are only Tezuka and Fuji right now. Not customer and worker."

Tezuka really had the attorney's soul now. He can change your word into your death,Fuji thought.

"I need to catch the last train."

"It's only seven."

"I still have some works, so do you."

"Tomorrow is weekend. I don't have much to do. I had done it before going home. I'm sure you,too."

Damn it! Now what?

"Still.."

"What about dinner at the restaurant near here? I often go there when I don't feel like to cook. It's just a dinner between childhood friends. Wait here. I'll go to change."

Tezuka had walked to his room before Fuji could answered. He plopped on a big sofa. He placed his hand on his eyes,suddenly felt so tired. He shouldn't come at this time,he should come at the lunch hour but Tezuka would be at his work. Or he would forced a lunch to him too. Why did he persistent to keep in touch with him? Was his rejection not enough?

Or else.

Or..

Did he want to develop their relationship more than this? Fuji blushed but he banished that thought. That would be impossible. Tezuka had a lover already. He just met his childhood friend. He wanted some reminiscing of his childhood. Fuji was the only one who available. Nothing more.

Fuji sighed and straightened his back. His eyes caught a photo frame under the glass table. He picked it up and saw the picture. It was Atobe's photo. Not his full body photo,just the upper naked part of him. He was asleep on a white fluffy pillow,he looked so peaceful and the sunrise shone on his right side. The photo taken by his side when he was unaware,and surely taken by someone who close to him. Was it taken by Tezuka? They were still together,weren't they? Was this one of Atobe's home? Imagining himself renovating one of Atobe's home decreased his interest to zero.

The dark feeling called envy,jealous and anger crawled out of his heart. Tezuka didn't want him in the past. What made him thought that Tezuka wanted to step to next stage now? He almost made himself as a fool.

"I'm ready. Let's go."

Fuji looked at Tezuka who dressed casually. A dark blue shirt and jeans. He looked like a superstar who just walked out of a red carpet. He blinked away his thought. Fuji put the photo on the table. Tezuka saw it and snatched it away.

Fuji chuckled. "It's okay. I just found it below the table. You should put it on your bedroom or your own office you know. If you place it here people can see it freely." When Tezuka didn't say anything Fuji continued,"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

"No. It must had been fallen from its box when I threw it away. I emptied that room together with the useless things." Tezuka walked to the trash bin and dropped the photo.

"Wait! What are you doing? It's your precious thing. You shouldn't do that."

"It was. It means nothing to me now. This photo was sent by his lover,another lover,to me. Our relationship didn't work as we wish."

Fuji eyes widened. He didn't know that Tezuka was suffering too. He knew the feeling when the person we loved,loved someone else. He felt it constantly for eleven years. He didn't want Tezuka to feel it too. "I..I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm not."

They walked out from Tezuka's apartment and both of them were in silence. When they reached the pavement road the night view of city greeted them. Fuji really enjoyed his walking time whether he was alone or not. How he wished he brought his camera. A night view always the best. His thought moved back to his and Tezuka's conversation just now. Fuji wanted to asked more but the face Tezuka showed made him kept silent. He wanted to know what happened that time? Why they broke up? Didn't they love each other more than anything? He wanted to know.

Tezuka broke their silence while they were walking. "What would you like for dinner?"

"Anything is fine."

"Aa.. If your food preference hasn't changed then there is a place that I would like to recommend."

"What's wrong with my food preference? Saa.. I just accidentally prefer food with rich aroma and flavor. Thank you for your consideration." Fuji spat with a sarcasm.

"Hn.. I'm joking. I don't know you lose your humour in these years."

"I don't know you find yours either." Fuji replied.

Tezuka chuckled and messed Fuji's hair just like in the past when he found Fuji was amusing.

"I'm sorry,alright? I'll treat you as my apologizing." Tezuka continued messing his hair. Fuji tried to catch his hand to stop him. His hair would look like a bird nest if Tezuka didn't stop.

"Stop it! I'm not a kid anymore!"

They stood under a Sakura tree. The warm wind brought the petals around them. The spring was finally arrived. Tezuka stopped his action. His hand stroked Fuji's hair with a soft caress.

"Your hair.. It's longer.." Tezuka lowered his hand to the hair beside Fuji's ear. He took Fuji's loose hair and placed it behind Fuji's ear. His fingers touched side of Fuji's neck and under his ear ever so lightly that Fuji was sure he was Imagining things.

Fuji couldn't stop the blush which bloomed on his cheeks. He must be imagining things. Yes,it was just his imagination. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So.. Where are we going? Is it still far away?"

"Just few blocks away." They walked again and reached the restaurant no long after.

They had their dinner at a cozy and warm restaurant. The had many variations for the menu. Tezuka didn't say anything unnecessary and he was just like the Tezuka Fuji had known from a long time ago,serious and stoic. Fuji had to admit that it was enjoyable. It was fun to be with Tezuka again even if only as a friend.

Fuji went back to his house at ten. He almost missed the last train. Tezuka walked him to the station. When the train departed he saw a longing face from Tezuka but he just brushed it away.

#########################

Monday didn't come as fast as he hoped. He scheduled to meet Tezuka and did some briefing about the room's blue print. He already finished his sketch and wanted to see if it was a satisfaction work for Tezuka. He smiled at his work.

"Fuji-san,Tezuka-san is here."

"Okay. Thanks,Kiko-chan."

"You look so enthusiast. Did something good happen?"

"Maa.. Nothing. Just finished my sketch faster than I estimated. Ja ne." He walked to the meeting room.

"Ohayougozaimasu,Tezuka-san." Fuji walked in and closed the door. They held the meeting in a private room so no one would disturb them.

"Ohayou,Fuji. Just Tezuka is fine."

He sat on a chair across Tezuka. He then put the sketch and his note together with his pen. "I've finished your blue print. You want a spacious room with a warm feeling. Here."

"Aa.." Tezuka took the sketch and inspected it. He then asked some part of the room to Fuji.

They talked about Fuji's sketch for awhile,the material,the size of furniture and the lighting. Tezuka frown and Fuji knew rightaway that something was not satisfying.

"Is there something you don't like,Tezuka-san?"

"Aa.. Is it okay to change my mind about this sketch?"

"Of course. We haven't started the project yet. You can even change the whole sketch if you think it is not your liking." Fuji explained with a smile.

"Aa.. Your sketch is great. It's better than my expectations. But,I want to change some of them. It's just occurred in my mind. Is that okay?"

"Sure. I will accommodate it as best as I can." Fuji pulled his note.

"I want a different color for my wall."

"Okay. Which is?"

"Blue."

Fuji stopped his hand but continued anyway. He never known that Tezuka liked blue now. Time sure changed people. "Sure."

"I want to add a comfortable place to read and place a quite big table next to the window. I hope you can find a comfortable reading chair,preferably a set with the table."

Fuji chuckled. "Sure." Tezuka still loved to read it seemed. He added Tezuka's points into his note.

"Anything else?"

"Nothing more."

"If that's all,we will start tomorrow. Is that fine?"

"Hn.."

"Well,then. We will do our best. Thank you very much,Tezuka-san. It's a pleasure to work with you." Fuji readied to walked away. "Good morning."

"Fuji."

He stopped before the door. "Hai?"

"Would you like to have a lunch later?"

Fuji tilted his head and thought. "What about your office? Don't you have a client to meet or people to talk to?"

"Aa.. I left it to Sakaguchi. I don't have any appointment until two."

Fuji looked at him for awhile,contemplating. Fuji was starting to talk when Tezuka's phone rang.

"Excuse me."

Fuji nodded.

Tezuka took out his phone Sakaguchi's muffled voice filled the silence. Fuji didn't catch all of his sentences but it was about new clients which replied by Tezuka in his mono syllable word. He closed his phone and looked at Fuji.

"Fuji,I.."

"It looks like you should cancel it,ne?" As usual,I'll never won over everything.

"No. It's okay. Let's go to lunch. I'm going to pick you up."

Fuji froze. Tezuka never gave him a second glance if he had another business to do. Why the change? Did he hear it wrong? When Tezuka stood his phone was ringing again. He disconnected it. When he started to talk again,his phone rang again.

Fuji chuckled looking at Tezuka's difficulty. "Maa.. You should pick it up,Tezuka-san. I'll on my way,then. Excuse me."

Tezuka gave out. He let out a sigh when Fuji dissappeared from his vision. He picked up his phone and walked out of the room. He never thought that it would be this difficult to ask someone to a lunch.

#########################

The room's renovation was doing well. It had been the second week and the room was almost finished to be renovated.

Fuji rarely met Tezuka. Their schedule always mismatched. When Fuji had time to visit,Tezuka always out of his house doing his work. When finally Tezuka had spare time,Fuji had to visit other customers' renovation.

Eventhough Fuji felt happy that he didn't have to meet Tezuka one to other days but he also yearned for Tezuka presence. He missed him when he knew he shouldn't. He wanted to talk to him when he knew he couldn't. He wanted to be his side when he knew he mustn't. Yet,his heart hurt and happy at the same time when Tezuka talked to him.

"Fuji-san,we have finished the painting and the ceiling light. Would you like to check it?"

"Hai. I'll be on my way."

Fuji dropped his works at Tezuka's living room and walked to the mentioned room. He couldn't wait to see that room when it's done. It was filled with Tezuka's and his idea.

"How is it?" He stepped into the room which magically looked so different from last time he saw it. The paint's smell still lingering around but it wasn't that bad. The room looked so bright and wider than previous time.

"As you can see,we have finished the ceiling and the wall. Our flooring department will start as soon as possible. In next two weeks you can put the furnitures into this room."

"That's good. You did an amazing work! Thank you very much for your hard work."

They did another checking and giving final touch. The result was better. Then the workers tidied up their belongings and went back home. Fuji was left alone at Tezuka's house.

Fuji did some revision to his note. Wanted to giving the best to the customer like he usually did. He called the flooring department and confirmed next schedule.

Fuji closed his phone and a voice was heard. "They had finished the wall."

"Oh! Oh my god! You startled me!" He almost dropped his phone.

Tezuka smiled. He walked next to Fuji. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. This is your house anyway. I'm just surprised,I thought you were still at work."

"The works were done faster. Are you done for today?"

"Mmn.. I'll clean my things and go home,too."

"Why do I have an impression that you are avoiding me?" He said with a raised brows.

"No. Of course not. It's just imagination. I still have works to do. They don't finish by themselves you know." Fuji said awkwardly.

"Have a tea before gone home. I'll boil the water while you cleaning up." with that he walked to his kitchen.

Fuji didn't have any choice. He didn't want Tezuka see through his plan anymore. He needed to change his tactics. Fuji followed Tezuka's track after his scattered tools were neat again.

He sat on a stool next to the table in front of Tezuka while the latter man pouring the hot water into ceramic jar.

"When will we be able to move in the furnitures?" Tezuka asked when they were waiting the tea to be done.

"About one till two weeks. We will start the flooring on Monday."

"Aa.. I see." He poured the tea for Fuji and then for himself.

"Thank you very much." Fuji said when he accepted the glass.

Tezuka took his glass and sat on his stool. He blew the glass before took a sip.

"You made a great tea."

"Aa.. Thanks. My mother taught me when she visited me at Germany. People can be all around the world but they still need their home's flavour."

"Saa.. That's true. I missed the wasabi Sushi so much when I studied at France. I even bought a large bag of wasabi and rolled it by myself. It didn't taste as good as Japan's Sushi but beggars can't be choosers." he smiled.

They ended to talk about their experiences during their study at abroad. They talked about their family,friends and people they knew and the funny thing was they talked nothing about their relationship.

Fuji poured himself another cup of tea,feeling better after a long day work. He sipped it and let out a little sigh. Tezuka watched him all the time but Fuji didn't take any attention. When he took another sip,Tezuka suddenly asked him a question.

"Fuji. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" in his most serious and stoic voice as ever.

Fuji sprayed out some of his tea and choked by the rest. He placed the glass on the table,afraid that he would misplaced it and caused unwanted accident. He coughed and tried to catch his breath. He put his palm on his mouth,his eyes became wider than Tezuka's ceiling lamp.

Tezuka wanted Fuji to be his what?

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That's it! Oh my. What actually happened? I don't know too. Lol. JK. Do you like it? Hate it? Review? Your reviews give me a spirit to write. It's true! Thank you anyway. Have a nice day!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry for the wait! Thank you for being patient with me. It's the fifth chapter! Yay! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.

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Fuji Syusuke was a genius. Everyone knew that. He could finish the most difficult and oddest projects and his clients all were satisfied. He could create most astonishing sketch which people fought over to get. He could change impossibility to something possible. He even could predict what people need from the tiniest information. People knew that. Fuji himself knew that too and he was proud of it. So when Tezuka asked him to be his boyfriend,Fuji could only gapped and choked by his own drink.

Seriously,Tezuka wanted Fuji to be his what?! Did he hear it wrong? Did he fall asleep just now?. No,he could still feel the warmness of his tea. It was real.

"Sorry,but what was that?" Fuji took a tissue on the counter and wipe his mouth.

"Aa.. I asked you to be my boyfriend?"

Fuji didn't hear it wrong. He didn't. Tezuka did ask him to be his boyfriend. After eleven years waiting,he finally could get closer to Tezuka. They could be more than friends. Fuji felt a leap on his heart. His stomach was churning. Did Tezuka finally realize his feeling for him? Oh god! He was very happy. He was on the cloud nine.

"Uh.. I mean a fake lover. A pretending one." He added quickly.

And Fuji dropped onto the earth.

Fuji froze. How could this happen again? Did Tezuka know what he ask for? Didn't he realize Fuji's feeling? By his words Tezuka didn't only break his heart but he also step on it. He chuckled,he had to learn from the past. It seemed that he never learned,huh? It would never be Fuji,the person who walked beside Tezuka. Anyone was fine as long as it wasn't Fuji. Fuji breathed two,three times to calm his heart.

"Why a fake lover?"

Tezuka looked uneasy,he held the cup tightly. His frowned and kept his mouth closed as if he was afraid to tell him the truth.

Several seconds passed and he stayed still. Fuji took it as a clue that Tezuka regretted his request just now.

"I'm sorry. I just want to know the reason why before helping someone. I don't want to be involved into people's business or to be an unwanted variable." just like with Atobe,he added.

"But,it's not hard for a Tezuka Kunimitsu to have another boyfriend,ne. So why ask me?"

"Fuji.." Tezuka looked at him.

"It's okay. I'm joking. I'm sorry but I can't. You must ask another person. I work only as a designer not a rented boyfriend. It's late. I still have some works. I'm off." He smiled and put the cup into the sink.

Fuji walked out of the dining room and Tezuka still sat there with his half drank tea.

"It's my client." Tezuka said at the end.

Fuji stopped at the hallway which directed to the livingroom. Tezuka stopped right behind him. He stood three feet away from Fuji. Fuji turned around and faced him. Tezuka didn't turn on the lamp at the hallway, the hallway was illuminated by the dining room so Fuji couldn't see his face clearly.

"My client asked me to meet his daughter. It's wasting time,though."

"I see." Fuji continued walking to the livingroom with Tezuka tailing behind him. "Did you meet her?"

"Hn.. She went to my office in her father place."

"Did she know her father's idea?"

"Hn.."

"And?"

"She agreed with it."

Who won't? Fuji himself fell in love with this rock-hard- but he got a broken heart and limbs.

"That's great,ne. You should try it,who knows she is the right one?"

"You know that I don't swing that way."

Tezuka said it as if it was a common knowledge and Fuji had never confessed to him. He took Fuji's confession as a joke and Fuji wouldn't hurt by it. Something in Fuji's head snapped.

"You didn't-don't swing to my way too and you want me to help you? Why? Because of my feeling that time so you think that I will accept it gladly although it is a fake relationship? Because you think I am a fool who will accept your need and want it even if it was only pity and guilty. A little puppy who would follow you around? Because it won't hurt anyone?" _No one except me._ Fuji blinked away his tears. He balled his fists and gritted his teeth so he wouldn't say anything more than necessary.

Tezuka shocked by his outburst. He stammered when talking to Fuji. "Fuji,I..."

"You are a cruel man,Tezuka."

With that Fuji walked out of Tezuka's apartment,leaving Tezuka and his idea alone.

#########################

Last night Tezuka had been calling him for hours. Fuji felt disappointed to himself and Tezuka. Tezuka took advantage of his feeling. Fuji cursed himself more for thinking about accepting Tezuka's proposal even only for a split second. He hated it. Ashamed by his own thought,Fuji then turned off his phone,he didn't want to talk to him. Not yet. He knew he was childish but he couldn't help it. His love asked him to pretend as his boyfriend without considering Fuji's feeling.

Sunday always been his favorite day. He loved to lay and do nothing. Sometimes Saeki would appear and drag him to walk or drink. He also used Sunday as a tidying day,rearranging his works,his books,searching for new ideas.

Fuji sighed. He locked and unlocked his phone. He left his works at Tezuka's place last night. He was totally in chaos that he didn't remember to bring his things along. He didn't have to collect it rightaway because he would go to Tezuka's place tomorrow. Tezuka's place. He hoped Tezuka wouldn't be at home tomorrow and he hoped that Tezuka would work overtime. He did a stupid thing yesterday. He regretted it. He shouldn't do that. Why couldn't he close his mouth? But still he need his note to check his schedule and organized it again.

 _Liar. You make up the reasons,you want to see him_. A voice in his head told him.

 _No. I need it. My works would be falling apart if I didn't check it before Monday._

 _I thought you are a tensai,you can do your works inside your head,can't you? Just admit it,you are searching reason to meet him._ The voice mocked him.

 _No. I don't._

 _Yes,you want him. But does he want you? He didn't even see you at the past and now he need only your design. How pitiful._

 _Stop. Stop it!_

Fuji fell from his bed and grunted. He fell asleep just now and had an annoying dream. It was only eleven in the morning. He still had a long day to pass.

Enough is enough. Fuji dialed Saeki's number and it was answered on the third ring. As expected from his best friend. Fuji invited Saeki to watch movies or eat somewhere as long as it was not near Tezuka's place.

He needed to compose himself. He shouldn't cling to the past forever. He needed to let him go. He was known as a tensai who could change impossibility to possibilities right?

"Let's meet in twenty minutes at Cinema X,okay? I need to scream my stress out."

"Sure. See ya." He sounded sleepy.

Fuji greeted him good bye and went to change. Not another ten minutes later he walked out of his apartment and readied to spend his Sunday joyfully.

#########################

"Fuji-san!"

Fuji and Saeki stopped talking. Fuji turned around and met Kiko's big eyes.

"Ah,Kiko-chan. Good afternoon." He smiled at her.

"Good afternoon,Fuji-san! It's nice to see you here. Are you with Tezuka-san?"

Fuji frown hearing that name. "No,I am not. Should I?"

Kiko laughed at him. "I'm sorry but Kei-chan told me that Tezuka-san told him that you were childhood friends. So I thought you would spend your Sunday with him,you know."

"Kei-chan?"

"That's me! Long time no see,Fuji-san! Do you come here with Tezuka-san?" Sakaguchi looked around and then walked next to his girlfriend,bringing a bag filled with pop corn and drinks on one hand.

Fuji's brow twitched. He could hear Saeki's snicker behind him. Oh,you are so dead,Koujiro. He would shoved the pop corn into his mouth later. No,he would add wasabi first,much,much wasabi before shoving it into his mouth. Fuji felt better after he thought about it.

"No. I don't. I come with my friend. Koujiro,this is my colleague at my office,Kiko-chan and her boyfriend,Sakaguchi-san."

Saeki shook their hands and introduced himself. When Fuji was a tensai,Saeki was a charmer. He could charm people and they would give him their darkest secret voluntarily. His job as a marketer brought him a great fortune. The good thing was he was a great man who respect and appreciate people. Fuji was proud to be his best friend.

They sat on the table provided while waiting for the movie. "What movie did you choose?" Fuji asked them.

"A comedy romantic movie. And you,Fuji-san?" Kiko answered.

Fuji told them the movie's title.

"A horror movie? I want to watch it too!" she replied.

"I thought girl love romantic movies more than horror?"

"If there is comedy in it,yes. If it is full of romance,I'll sleep right after the second scene. Kei-chan insisted to watch romantic movie. He doesn't want me to be scared. I'm not that coward you know." she pouted.

"Maa.. It shows his love for you,ne. By the way,do you by chance have to work overtime tomorrow,Sakaguchi-san?" He hoped they would work overtime. Say yes. Yes.

"Nope. We don't have much work to do. Tezuka-san usually finishes his works early than the deadline so we don't often work overtime. He is truly a great boss."

"Damn. And I hope he has to." Fuji murmured.

"What is it?"

"No. Nothing. I'm just talking to myself."

"Ah! That reminds me,tomorrow Tezuka-san are going to meet Kenzaki-san. So he will be late after all."

"Kenzaki-san?"

"One of our clients. He wanted to talk about his case but the funny thing was he asked Tezuka-san to meet him at café near our office,after work." He shrugged.

"I don't see anything funny about it. Some of our clients love to talk at café or any public places they love to go." Kiko replied him.

"But they are law firm not interior design agency. My customers too,love to talk and listen to my presentation in a quiet place. It's easier to concentrate. Law is a sensitive topic that shouldn't be talked at a public place. Don't you have to keep it secured?" Saeki explained in a thoughtful face.

"It's impressive that you know about it,Saeki-san!" Sakaguchi praised him.

"Nah. I'm only a man who love to talk and hear around." He winked at Fuji.

Fuji suppressed his urge to roll his eyes.

#########################

Monday came and went as slow as usual. Fuji left the flooring group at Tezuka's house and rushed to check on an emergency situation at his colleague's project.

There was a mistake at one of the materials and when his colleague ordered another one they sent different size. So Fuji accompanied his friend to Kyoto to solved the misunderstanding and changed their order for material and made sure it was right before shipping. Fortunately,the employer was one of his clients and he accepted their request and apologized their mistakes.

His colleague thanked him over and over. He even intended to give Fuji half of his salary that month to pay Fuji back. Fuji refused it,of course. He knew his colleague was a new father and he might lose some sleeps which possibly cause a mistake.

Fuji then rushed back to Tezuka's place and his flooring team still working without any difficulty. He then dismissed the team when the working time over. He checked Tezuka's house and made sure there was nothing missed or wrong. At six Fuji walked out Tezuka's place.

Fuji reached the station as usual but he couldn't get rid the uneasy feeling inside his heart. Fuji could hear people chattering around,the train's sound from distance and a man talked to his client from phone. None of them was heard now.

 _"I'm not sure Kenzaki-san will appear tomorrow." Sakaguchi said._

 _"Is he a busy man?" Fuji asked._

 _"No..no.. What I mean is Tezuka-san will meet his daughter instead. She has been eager to catch Tezuka-san into her clutch."_

 _"Does Tezuka-san know about it?" this came from Saeki._

 _"I'm not a bright man myself but even I know that she is a bad omen."_

 _"Fuji. Do you want to be my boyfriend?"_ that what Tezuka asked him.

 _"Uh.. I mean a fake lover. A pretending one."_ He asked Fuji. Tezuka never asked something from him before. It always Fuji who disturbed and made Tezuka face difficult situations. Tezuka always helped him whenever he could.

 _"My client asked me to meet his daughter. It's wasting time,though_."

What did I do? I should have helped him. I made a mistake because of my own egoism and foolishness.

 _"You know that I don't swing that way."_

Fuji slapped his cheeks with both of his hands. How could he did it to Tezuka? Tezuka indeed turned down his confession but it didn't mean they were not friends,right?

Fuji gritted his teeth and then made up his mind.

I'm sorry,Tezuka. I'm the worst.

Fuji rushed back to the main road and caught a taxi. It ran smoothly into the traffic right after Fuji's gave the destination.

I'm sorry to be a disappointment to you. I'll never do it again. If you don't love me at least pet protect you with my love,Fuji whispered inside his head.

He only hoped that Tezuka still believed in him.

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Chapter five down. What would happen next? Stay tune! ;) Review would be much appreciated. I would love to hear (read) from you guys. Love ya!


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for your reviews. For Fujiyuki-san,thanks again for reviewing every chapter. I appreciate it so much! I don't think there is anyone who can sweep over Fuji's feet,he is too in love with Tezuka,ne. I won't keep him suffering too much,maybe about two more chapters? *evil*. I hope you like this chapter too. For Li-san,I'm so happy that you enjoy this story. I'll try my best to write a better chapter which everyone can enjoy with. Finally,thank you very much for my readers. Thank you for keeping your patience reading my story. Happy reading!

* * *

"Thank you very much. You can take the changes." Fuji hopped out of the taxi and ran to the cafe which Sakaguchi said yesterday.

When he walked in he was greeted by a waitress. Fuji dismissed her saying his friends were waiting for him. The waitress then back to her post but not before telling him to call her when they need something.

Fuji scanned thorough the cafe. It was not big but the dim lightning gave a difficulty for him to find them. Fuji looked around again for the third time. He almost lost his hope and thought that Tezuka and his client had already gone home.

Fuji was starting to walked away when his eyes caught a move at the secluded area inside. It was Tezuka's head. There was a woman sit across him. Fuji couldn't see her from his position except her long wavy black hair. He then decided to wait and see before taking action. He didn't want to disturb their conversation unnecessarily.

"Ne~ Tezuka-san.. What is the meaning of this sentence? Can you explain it again? Oh! Silly me. I'm sorry but you are too fast. Slower please?" Fuji could hear her sultry voice from his place.

She placed her hand on Tezuka's. Tezuka pulled his hand away,looked irritated. "Aa.. I'm sorry. Your father's claim had been processed last week and we will move into next movement immediately after he give his permission. I would like to explain it to himself,so if you-"

"What about _WE_ move to the next stage too,Tezuka-san? I mean,it's very difficult to understand. I don't get it. Can we continue it at my home?" she brought her foot to Tezuka's. A gesture which could be only seen in cheap movies. Fuji felt peeved but also amused by this woman's demeanor.

If Tezuka looked irritated before now he looked angry and Fuji could see an imaginary fumes produced from his ears. Fuji decided to do something before someone was hurt,more likely Tezuka's client.

"Kunimitsu! I thought I already told you that we are going to my place tonight?" He walked next to Tezuka.

"Fuji!" Tezuka looked surprised by his appearance.

"Mou.. I told you to call me Syuu,didn't I? You are mean,Kunimitsu."

Tezuka coughed and said,"Sorry. I won't repeat it again."

"Tezuka-san,who is this?" Tezuka's client asked.

"Aa.. This is my-"

"Fiancé. Fuji Syusuke. Nice to meet you. And you are?"

"Kenzaki Maki. I'm Tezuka's client. I don't know you have a male fiancé ,Tezuka-san?"

"Aa.. I don't want people disturbing our relationship and his works." He took Fuji's hand and kissed it. Fuji couldn't suppressed his blush.

Kenzaki raised her perfect brows. She then back to Fuji. "I'm sorry but we have not finished yet. Can you wait somewhere else?"

"Really,Mitsu?" Fuji asked looking at Tezuka.

"No. We have finished. I need only give this document to Kenzaki-san,so she can give it to her father."

"There are still many paragraph that you haven't explained yet. How can I explain to my father if I don't know about them?" she giggled.

Tezuka sighed. Fuji bit his lips to restraint a sarcasm spill out of his mouth. Tezuka relented and began to explain again. He couldn't work half-heartedly. Kenzaki-san looked satisfied with Tezuka's attention back to her. Fuji intended to wait them at the bar section when Tezuka's hand grabbed his to prevent him. Fuji raised his brows by Tezuka's action.

"Fu-Syuu,wait here. It won't be long."

"I think it is not wise. You should keep your business private." Fuji tried to pry his hand out.

Tezuka didn't say anything in response,with a little yank he brought Fuji next into him instead. Fuji sat with a small gasp. Tezuka didn't let his hand go. He continued talking to the obviously irritated Kenzaki-san. Fuji felt embarrassed by Tezuka's attitude.

Fuji poked at Tezuka's side while whispering to him. "I can wait there you know. I don't want to disturb you." Tezuka held his hand tighter.

Fuji turned his head and looked at Tezuka because of lacking response from the latter man. Feeling the sudden movement from Fuji he turned his head too. His sentences about ownership law was in halt. He stopped talking right after their eyes met. Fuji didn't know what happen but this moment felt so magical. It's the first time he saw Tezuka right in front of his eyes. Up until now he always dodged seeing his face,he looked to the wall,the sceneries,the people around Tezuka. He refused to look at him. He never really looked at him. He was too afraid to see his face,afraid about his feeling going surface and he couldn't stop looking at him. Now,he regretted it. Was Tezuka really as attractive as this? When did his eyes started look so dazzling? When did his mouth started look so enticing? When was he starting looked so handsome overally?

A woman was clearing her throat. Who was that? There,it was heard again. Fuji blinked and blushed when he back to reality. Kenzaki-san who sat across of them was pouting and clearly disturbed by their antics.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted just now. Let me continue,Aa.. Here. From this part we could expect them to-"

They continued their discussion for another ten minutes but Tezuka seemed distracted by Fuji's presence. Maki was getting more annoyed each time Tezuka stopped talking. "That's enough. I can read the rest at my home. I got your message,Tezuka-san. I may be a slut for you but I do have brain. Good bye. Have a nice night." she collected her belongings together with Tezuka's files and then walked away.

"Fuh.. It's finally over." Fuji said after she walked out of the door.

"Aa.."

"Really,Tezuka. I don't know you lose your 'woman repellent' magic now. I never see a desperate Tezuka before." He chuckled.

"No." He caressed back of Fuji's hand. Fuji went rigid.

"Um.. You can release my hand now. No one is seeing us now."

"Do you want to have dinner before go home?"

"Uh.. I-"

"My treat. As my gratitude to you."

"No,you don't have to."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"For using you as my shield from her. For using you as my own advantage." Tezuka still caressed Fuji's hand.

"It's okay. I'm the one who should apologize about my attitude last time. I should help whenever my friends need me,ne?" Tezuka hand stopped for a second before continuing it again.

"Besides,I know that you don't want to disappoint her father,right?"

"Aa.. Thank you."

"You are welcome. So now you can,you know.." Fuji pulled his hand from Tezuka's.

"Let's go."

"Huh? Where to?"

"Dinner."

#########################

When Tezuka said dinner,Fuji never thought that they would have dinner at Tezuka's place. He thought the taller man would take him to some ramen or udon restaurant,or an Oden stand near there.

"Come in."

"Sorry for the intrusion."

Tezuka walked into the kitchen and checked his freezer. Fuji sat and waited at the counter. He never imagined that he would sit at the same place again but in totally different situation.

"How about omurice?" Tezuka asked from his position.

"That's fine." He answered quickly.

Tezuka collected the necessary ingredients and rolled up his sleeves. He already took off his tie so Fuji could see column of his throat and collar bone. Tezuka had always been an attractive man. How is it felt to be hugged by this man? Fuji blushed by his own thought. Tezuka put on his black apron and started working his dinner.

"Let me help." He stood from the seat.

"Don't worry. I can do it."

"Maa.. it's uncomfortable waiting someone cooking for you when you can help,ne?"

Tezuka gave him a little smiled and nodded. "Hn. Come here. I'll give you another set of apron."

Fuji walked next to the sink while Tezuka was searching for new apron. Fuji reached out his hand to take the dark blue apron but Tezuka kept it out of Fuji's reach. "Let me do it for you." Tezuka said.

"I can do it myself." Fuji chuckled to hide his nervousness.

"Turn around."

"Tezuka."

He indicated Fuji to turn around by his head. Seeing Tezuka wouldn't change his mind,Fuji turned with a pout. "What a tyrant." He mumbled.

Tezuka bit down his smirk so Fuji wouldn't see it. He looped the up straps around Fuji's neck. He touched Fuji's smooth baby hairs at his neck which caused the smaller boy shivering. He then looped the waist straps,doing it at the slow pace which almost made Fuji go crazy.

What is he trying to do actually?

"Done." Tezuka put each of his hand at Fuji's waist.

"O..Okay. What should I do?"

"You can chop the lettuce and tomato for salad." Tezuka said in his usual voice while Fuji was in his stuttered one.

"Okay."

For that evening Tezuka didn't miss any chance to touch Fuji whenever he had the opportunity. When Fuji was chopping the vegetables next to the sink,Tezuka then suddenly stood behind him to take the ingredients or spices. Fuji froze because of Tezuka's chest pressing to his back. When Tezuka asked him to taste the food he would touch Fuji's hair. Another time when Fuji was taking out the utensils Tezuka would help him,his hand enveloping Fuji's hand. Fuji tried his best not to blush. He really tried. If Tezuka saw it he didn't say anything.

The dinner was done in a record time. They then took off their apron and started to eat.

"How do you like it?"

"It's taste great. I don't know you can cook this."

"I live alone for a long time so I have to."

"Even in Germany?"

"Aa.."

"Doesn't Atobe have many servants to serve you?" He ever heard that Atobe was a rich boy who even didn't know how to fold his clothes. Fuji knew he stepped out of the boundaries but he couldn't repress his curiosity.

"Hn.. For about one year I lived with him there. But when things didn't work up as we wish,I moved out. It's quite fascinating,living alone gave me more privacy and time to think."

"When I saw his picture at your living room,I thought you are still an item. I don't want to be an intruder,ne. So when you said that you were no longer together,I.. I never thought that you would be separated from him."

"It's a past now."

"How could it happen?"

Tezuka thought for a moment and answered,"Just say that we were not longer had the same vision. He couldn't accept it. He started to date so several men,women to see my reaction but in the end he relented."

"How did you feel that time?" Fuji could imagine how hurt and lonely Tezuka was. He was alone at foreign place with a cheating boyfriend. Not a pleasing live.

"... You can say that I was between hurt and relieved." Tezuka said with a consideration frown.

Fuji wanted to ask more but he knew he couldn't step more than this. Tezuka's life was for his alone. He was hurt but Fuji wasn't there to console him. He wanted to help Tezuka to pass it. To say that everything would be okay. Even if Tezuka didn't need it. Even if he was just a friendly gesture of him to Tezuka.

"I see. But worry not. I'm sure that someday you'll find someone who will fill the emptiness he left behind. I assure you."

Tezuka didn't respond. "And you? What about that Saeki man?" Tezuka asked when Fuji ate his last spoon of food

"Koujiro?"

"Hn.."

Fuji swallowed his food and washed it away with the cold water in front of him. "Saa.. We are friends."

"Aa.. Souka?" Tezuka said in unbelieving voice.

"Yeah."

"A friend? Nothing more?"

"Yes."

"You had never tried to date each other?" He asked again.

Fuji blinked and chuckled. "No. We are friends only. He doesn't,just like you said before,swing this way. When I met him at high school we knew rightaway that we were meant to be friends. He is truly a great man. It's a secret but he is a womanizer."

Satisfied with Fuji's answer,Tezuka ended the conversation there. They moved the topic to their projects. "If it's kept in this pace you can move the furnitures on next Monday. It would be a room which people would love so much. I'm sure all of you do is staying there and don't want to move away."

"Aa.."

Fuji gathered his and Tezuka's utensils and about to wash it. "Leave it. I'll do it later."

"It's fine. You had treated me. It's an easy chores anyway." He continued washing it.

"Hn.." Tezuka made tea and then they moved to the livingroom. They spent another hour to chat. Time surely went faster if you spent it with a precious one.

"I'm sorry for staying too long, I will go home now."

"I'll drive you home." He stood and took his car's key.

"No need. I can still catch the train if I run."

"It's not healthy running after eating. I'll drive." Tezuka said in his no nonsense voice.

"Hai,daddy." Fuji teased.

It took only twenty minutes from Tezuka's house to Fuji's by car. Fuji noted that Tezuka was a good driver. No rules were crossed. As expected from a man like Tezuka.

"You can drop me here. I can walk to my place." He unbuckled the belt.

Tezuka turned off his car. "Where is your place? I'll walk you there."

"Oh. Such a gentleman."

"You know where I live so it's only fair if I know your place too."

Seeing no harm there,he said,"Sure." Fuji then lead the way. He lived two blocks away from the parking lot. It was five stories apartment. It wasn't as good as Tezuka's but he loved living here.

They stopped in front of Fuji's door at the fifth floor. Fuji was backing his door and Tezuka stood in front of him.

"Thank you for the dinner. It was lovely."

"Hn.. It's me who should thank you. You helped me. Thanks."

"Saa.. I should,ne. That's what a friend for." Fuji tilted his head.

"Hn.."

"I want to invite you to come in but it's already this late. I don't want you lacking some sleep. Your job need much concentration,don't it? May be next time?"

"Aa.."

"Ja,Oyasuminasai." Fuji nodded and turned away.

"Wait." Tezuka grabbed his arm

"Yes?" He blinked in a confusion to the taller man.

Tezuka dipped his head and moved toward Fuji. Fuji was too shock to move. What is he doing? Is Tezuka going to-

Fuji got his answer right after that. Tezuka gave him a peck at the corner of his mouth. The kiss was short,it was ended when Fuji thought it was happened. It was short yet he could feel the tingling sensation at his lips. It's the first time for him. He could feel the butterflies moved fast at his stomach. Right now he would faint cause of hyperventilation.

"Oyasuminasai." Tezuka caressed Fuji's silky hair with his thumb and then his smooth cheek before dissappearing inside the elevator.

Fuji slumped on the floor. His feet could no longer work properly. He touched his lips with his fingers. Did he dream it? Was that an illusion?

Fuji pinched himself and it hurt. It wasn't dream. Tezuka just gave him a kiss,although short but it gave Fuji a shock over his head.

For a long time he lived there, it was the first time he entered his apartment with a smile like a crazy man he was.

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How is it? So far so good? Not good? Really bad? Rnr please? Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

"Thank you for your hard work,Fuji-san."

"Ah.. You too."

His colleague walked out of his cubicle. Fuji flexed his tense shoulders and arms. He used all day to draw designs. He didn't have any free time to write and draw recently so he wanted to cover the time he lost to draw much more designs. It's nice to draw with all his might and it was nicer when people loved it.

Fuji sighed. The sun had been set and the city was illuminated by lamps which made the view so melancholic. Another day ended,huh?

Fuji cleaned his cubicle. He didn't go to Tezuka's place today since he had many deadlines to fulfill. He hoped everything was okay but no one called so he concluded that the works ran smoothly. Tezuka. Fuji hand stopped moving in the mid air. His smile blossomed on his lips. He couldn't stop smiling since that night. After that night Tezuka became so affectionate to him.

His phone beeped.

Fuji took his phone and smiled again.

 _I'm outside. Dinner?_

It's Tezuka.

Fuji typed quickly a yes and turned off his desk lamp. He wanted to run and reach Tezuka immediately but he forced himself to slow down. He didn't want to look so eager which could cause Tezuka avoiding him if ever Tezuka mistook his intention. It's true that he loved Tezuka,so much that it's hurt but he enjoyed his new founded friendship with the taller man. He wouldn't want to ruin it because of his own egoism. He was quite satisfied,stood next to Tezuka as his best friend just like the past.

Still,Tezuka gave him a mixed indications lately.

The day after that kiss,Tezuka asked Fuji to have a walk with him at the park near Tezuka's apartment. They spent the night watching the sakura's petals swirled and enjoyed the warm wind. Tezuka even brought foods and beverages to enjoy with. It's a hanami,he said. Fuji sighed dreamily and smiled brightly at him. Tezuka then drove him home not without the light kiss on his cheek.

They ate wasabi sushi the night after. It was a famous restaurant-which Fuji would have loved to go but it always full and Saeki didn't want to accompany him-. Tezuka didn't do his job half-heartedly. He reserved the private room which usually used for a group of five, only to be used for both of them.

"Tezuka,are you sure we can use this room? Oh,are you inviting your friends too?" Fuji looked confused.

"Aa.. I reserved it. I invited no one. It's just us. I prefer quiet place."

"I'll pay my own proportion,ne?" Fuji didn't want Tezuka spend his money unwisely. This place especially with a reserved room was going to dig a big hole in someone's pocket.

"It's my treat." Fuji wanted to argue more but Tezuka's face stopped him.

Fuji felt conflicted. Did Tezuka do interest in him? Or it's just to pay his guilty using Fuji for his advantage? No one can guess what was inside Tezuka's head. This time Fuji wanted to enjoy the moment,if Tezuka didn't need him anymore he would dissappear without him noticing it.

"I'm sorry for making you wait." Fuji said.

"Aa.. It's fine." Tezuka pushed himself off against one of the pillars with both hand crossed in front of his chest.

"Where are we going?"

"It's up to you. Anywhere is fine. But I prefer somewhere which comfortable and peaceful."

Fuji chuckled, "Saa.. I know a place which comfortable enough for us." and continued to walk.

#########################

"So,then you brought him to your house." it sounded as a question,not a statement.

"Yes. I just told you before." Fuji blew his ramen and ate. Ramen was the best.

"Really? From a five star sushi restaurant to a small apartment?"

"You said it as if my apartment is horrible and everything,Koujiro."

"It's not but close." He snickered and sipped his ramen.

Fuji took a bottle of Tabasco and squished it into Saeki's ramen with a deadly accuracy. Saeki didn't even have time to stop him.

"You.. Are a devil." His best friend said while coughing after tasting his food.

"Be grateful that I didn't add the wasabi and red pepper too."

Saeki rolled his eyes and ordered another glass of iced tea. He obviously wasn't offended by Fuji's behavior.

"So,what happened after that?"

"Nothing much. We cooked,ate and he went home."

"You canceled our 'once a year watching the concert' plan only to eat at your rusty apartment? So much for a date." Fuji kicked his foot under the table.

"Ouch! What? I'm just saying the truth. How could you stay calm next to your beloved one? From what I heard,when people fell in love they would acting weird,having a hard time to breath,did silly things." He contemplating for a moment and continued,"Forget it. I forgot that he is like that."

"Like what,exactly?" Fuji challenged him to explain.

"You know,frowning,talking in mono syllable word,keep stoic,talking straight to the point,not trying to chit chat,a rock? I don't know how you can stand staying next to him." He finished his meal in a mouthful spoon.

"Saa.." It's true that Tezuka was a man with little words but Fuji could feel how Tezuka felt,when he wanted to talk,when he would listen to some jokes,when he wanted people to keep their mouths. Tezuka didn't have to said it out loud,Fuji always knew. But Fuji also knew that Tezuka was a warm person,he was kind and thoughtful to people around him.

"Let's say it is a lifetime experience." Fuji nodded.

Saeki decided to let if go. "Let's watch a movie tomorrow,it's Sunday anyway. I got tickets for the movie you want to watch last time."

"Don't you have friends other than me?" Fuji teased.

"That tone! Don't tell me." Saeki faked a shock.

"Sorry. I already promised Tezuka to help him with choosing things for his new room."

"Great. Another boring date. Doesn't he have another friend other than you?" He retorted.

"I'll make it up to you next time. Besides,don't you actually have a girl waiting next to you? You don't have to watch over my 24/7,Koujiro. I'm a mature man already."

"Old habits die hard." He shrugged.

They fell into silence. Each with their own mind.

"I'm happy for you for finding your long lost friend,Syuu. I really am. But I'm still worried here." Saeki said in his serious voice. He never showed this side of him often unless it was really a wrecking situation.

"Maa.. It's not like I'll go marrying the first person I meet on the road." Fuji said nonchalantly,trying to enlightened the mood. He felt so guilty for making his friend worry.

"Sometimes it's better. Who would know,what if that person on the road is better than your friend?"

"I'm okay,Koujiro. I have learned my lesson. We are just friends now,nothing more." Fuji said firmly as if he was not only tried to convince Saeki but also himself.

"I know. But I also know that you'll be never be same again if he by any chance break you now."

Fuji gave him a bitter smile for he himself knew Saeki said the truth.

"I don't think it would happen but I think I'll survive. I'm a tensai,after all."

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Fuji walked back to his office. Saeki looked so worried with his thoughts about Fuji's relationship with Tezuka. Fuji smiled thinking about his friend,he should think about his own love life more.

"Fuji-san. Good afternoon. It's rare to see you at the office on weekend." the middle aged guard called.

"Hai. If I don't finish my works tomorrow you'll see our clients demonstrate here. We might appear on the news." Fuji chuckled. "Oh,right. I bought too many pastries on my way here,I don't think I could eat them after lunch,share it with other,yes?"

"Thank you very much,Fuji-san." He received the pastries with a smile. Fuji waved and walked into the building.

The office was empty as usual. When weekend came,the employees came only to take some material or prepare presentation. The show room was always opened,though. Fuji rarely worked at weekend. He prefer to refresh his mind on weekends. Saeki once said he was a lazy ass,using refreshment as reason.

"Ah,here it is." He took out the utensils and paper. He sorted them and kept them into his backpack and readied to go home.

He took a short cut through the show room. It was nearer than using the stairs. It was empty at lunch hour like this time. Fuji was humming when walked into the show room.

There were some people in the show room. Well,he just need to say hello and go out. He was halfway to the door when he saw a familiar man sitting on a sofa with arms dropped on the sofa's prop and one leg crossed on another one,a smug smile on his face. One of Fuji's colleague was trying to explain about their furniture which wasn't heard by the man. His eyes were glued on Fuji.

"Let's see here,it's a rare opportunity to meet Tezuka's puppy without the owner,huh?"

Fuji greeted him politely and walked away. He didn't want to waste his time with this unkind man.

He flicked his fingers. "Kabaji."

A big man murmured "Usu" then blocked Fuji's way out. Fuji sighed. It would be a long day.

"You can go now." He waved his hand to the employee who served him before. The said man was hesitated but Fuji nodded,assured him that everything was fine. He then left Fuji with his guests.

"What do you want,Atobe? Please make it quick,I don't have time to play with you."

"Still a brat,Oresama see." He crossed his arms.

"Yes,I am. I'm proud of it."

"As proud as someone who steal from another one?" Atobe's voice full of sarcasm.

"For your information,I don't steal anything from anyone. I never had and never will."

"Really? Oresama beg to differ."

"What do you want,Atobe? If you want a spat you come to a wrong place. I'm busy. Excuse me." Fuji tried to open the door but it was a futile attempt,the big man didn't budge from his position.

"Is it great? Having someone who you have loved for a long time?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I own no one."

"Don't play game with Oresama! Oresama know you go out with Tezuka. How is he? Still a sensitive boy in bed? Do you like it?" Atobe walked next to Fuji and brought his face next to Fuji's ear then he added with a whisper. "Do you like it when he squirmed at his climaxes? Do you enjoy it? Having someone's belongings? Is it satisfying,cheating with him?" He smirked.

Fuji kept his patience intact and mouth shut. His knuckles became white as he gripped it as tight as he could. He suppressed his urge to punch this man. What an insolent man. He mustn't talk about Tezuka like that even if they had broken up. Fuji regretted for not fighting over Tezuka's love. He thought Tezuka loved this man and Tezuka deserved a happiness as much as other. Fuji loved Tezuka so till he allowed Atobe to be Tezuka's side as long as Tezuka was happy.

How could Tezuka love this person anyway?

Does Tezuka still love him?

"From what I heard,it was you who was cheating. Tezuka dumped you because of your own deed. Even if we are having relationship at this moment,he is not cheating,both of you are not an item anymore. You hadn't been for a long time now." Fuji said with opened eyes,looking straight to Atobe's.

Atobe smirked,"Tezuka and Oresama are still connected. He didn't dump Oresama. We are merely trying to build our own way. When the time is right we are going to back together. And then you appear. Tezuka seems fascinated by your presence but! Let Oresama tell you. A big secret. Wanna know?" He ran his fingers on Fuji's hair,Fuji tried to step aside.

"Tezuka's fascination,affection and anxiety to you are temporary. He is lonely without Oresama. When Oresama step inside your little world then he would gladly jump back to Oresama and dump you just like the past. Understand?"

Fuji felt an ice bucket was thrown into his face. He didn't need a person like Atobe to remind himself how Tezuka wouldn't see him that way. He still had his dignity not to force his feeling to another one. "Crystal. Are you finished? I might lose my job if I stay here too long."

Atobe stepped aside and raised both of his hands as a mocking act,"Sure. As long as you know your place. What you have at this moment is once in a lifetime occasion. It's Oresama's generous giving. So,be greatful,huh?" He brushed away Fuji's bangs.

Fuji left without saying anything. He hated this man. He abuses Fuji's spirit verbally and mentally. Fuji walked faster,he didn't realize that he was running till he reached the station. He took the train and slumped on the empty chair. His breathing was ragged and he was shaking. He was so angry and tired of being an unwanted object.

"What am I to do,Tezuka?" He murmured. The train keep running through the rails,moving toward its destination. Unlike the train,Fuji didn't know which destination he should reach. He was afraid that he didn't have it from the start.

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Cliffhanger! I'm sorry to Atobe's fans too. He has his own reasons,though. Please don't kill me! I'm working on the next chapter and I'll try to upload it soon. Sometimes I had to rewrite all of the content because I'm not satisfied with what I did. Please keep reading. Thank you for being my best readers. Review please?


	8. Chapter 8

Oh my god! It's the 8th chapter already? I can't believe it! I can write this so far is all thanks to you Thank you! Thanks to **Chico-san,Kira-san,lemon-and-chai2B-san,lemon-and-chai-san,Busy Doin' Nothin-san,Li-san and Sophie82000-san**. Especially to **Fujiyuki-san**! Thanks for your review for each chapter. You help me to write better. I hope this chapter is a satisfactory work for you guys. I own nothing except the plot. Happy Sunday!

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He was late.

It's just two hours past their meeting time but he was late. Tezuka was late. Fuji sat at the cafe they were used to meet. After his second cup of coffee,Tezuka still hadn't shown up yet.

Did he remember it wrong?

No,they should had meet here. He checked his phone for the nth time but here was nothing wrong with it. So,if Tezuka called he should be able to hear it.

Did Tezuka forget?

Nah,the time when Tezuka forgot about his schedule was when Fuji wasn't a tensai.

He sighed. He looked at the pedestrian on the road from the big window beside him. It was a sunny Sunday. Sunday always been a different day,the sun shone brighter,people laughed louder,expressed their love easier,the air even felt better.

Fuji woke up that morning with a mixed feelings,on one hand he was happy to be able to spend his time with Tezuka but in the other hand he was afraid of their relationship term. Were they friends? Fuji was sure about it. Would they be more than that? Fuji really hoped it but again,there was Atobe. He was more suitable for Tezuka than Fuji himself and it was proved with their relationship in the past. But still.. He really hope.

His mind kept moving in that circle without any way out. If someone could give the exit key he would be gladly to accept it.

He stood from his chair and paid his drinks. He would go to Tezuka's apartment who knows what had happened. Tezuka might not be forgotten his appointment but he might be sick too,right? He may be a strong-willed man but he could get sick too,right? Maybe he couldn't step out of his bed and called him or he maybe collapsed at his house. His scary thought brought him faster to Tezuka's place. There might be something urgent happened that made Tezuka didn't appear.

Visiting Tezuka seemed like a good idea now. Tezuka would have some explanations to do to him.

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Apparently Tezuka did had an urgent thing to do or rather an urgent person to meet. It was none than the almighty Oresama.

They were standing faced each other in front of Tezuka's door with Tezuka's back against the wall,sucking face as if they couldn't find a better time and better place.

Deep down his heart he already knew it. He could predict it would happen one day but he didn't expect that it would happen so fast. Atobe just appeared yesterday and today Tezuka already back to his side.

Couldn't see the view any longer Fuji decided to interfere. "If you are busy,please do tell. I'm one busy man too,you know?"

They separated fast. Tezuka looked at him as if he just saw a ghost while Atobe stood there showing his trade mark smirk to him.

"Fuji!" Tezuka sounded so panicked.

"Tezuka." He replied in a calm voice.

"Oresama." Atobe decided to jump into the conversation.

Fuji chuckled,"Atobe. Long time no see,ne? It's like a little less than twenty hours ago?"

"Ahn.."

"Fuji. I'm sorry.."

"What for? It's not your fault if you are busy,ne? It can't be helped but this situation is kinda a deja-vu,isn't it?" Fuji leaned on the wall by his side and looked straight to the couple with arms folded in front of his chest. Both of the taller men had a flushed cheeks and breathing hard. His heart was stabbed,hard. "If I can give a suggestion,it's better if you do your business behind the door so people wouldn't disturb it."

Fuji walked closer to Tezuka and handed him a plastic bag. "Here."

"What are these?"

"Medicines. When I came I thought you caught a cold or something. But now I can see you do catch something here. You can take them or throw them away. I won't need it anyway. I won't disturb your activities. Please,do continue. I'll take my leave. Sorry for disturbing." He smiled at them and walked toward the elevator.

Tezuka dropped the plastic bag and caught Fuji fast before the little man dissappeared behind the elevator door. "Fuji! Wait! I can explain! It's not as you see!" He grabbed Fuji's arm right before he entered the elevator.

The elevator pinged. The door then closed again without any passenger.

"Why would you explain it? It's none of my business and for your information,I am not a dumb."

"Ahn.. He is a tensai,don't you remember?" Atobe's added.

Tezuka glared at the narcissistic man. If a glare could kill then Atobe would be died by now.

"What? Oresama just stating the truth."

"Fuji,I'm on my way to our appointment. He just suddenly popped out." Tezuka tried to explain.

"It's okay,Tezuka. It's not a big deal. Maybe you should ask him to accompany you instead. I'm sure he has more resources and a better taste."

"Anything for Oresama's Tezuka."

"See? So,it's time for me to go." He pushed Tezuka out of his reach but Tezuka didn't let him.

"No."

"Tezuka,Oresama still has some things to say."

"Well,then.." Fuji stepped aside and tried to move away from Tezuka's strong grip desperately. Atobe then talked again while Fuji explained to Tezuka about their situation.

"Shut up!" Tezuka said in a firm voice.

Both Fuji and Atobe shut their mouth up. It was a rare situation to see Tezuka shouted.

"Atobe. We had decided to separate long time ago. We never worked out at the past,not this time and will not in the future. There were nothing right at the past. I don't think it will this time, and it will not be right if we forced our feeling to each other."

"But Oresama think it would be right for us to be back together. We had faced the worst and Oresama believe we have become wiser. Time will heal the wounds. But the feeling intact. So,let's try it again,just like the past. Oresama is sure that we will be alright."

"No,Atobe. Time surely heal the wounds but it left scars. I'm sorry but I think it's better if we don't see each other anymore. Just like what we did last time. Let's start our own live peacefully. It's no use clinging into the past. I believe,someday you'll find a special one who would love you wholeheartedly and you do too."

"I don't believe it that you choose this little puppy over Oresama. Seriously,leave him alone,can we talk about it again?"

Tezuka shook his head slowly,"There is nothing to talk about anymore,Atobe. We had chances but we took it for granted. We ended it long time ago."

Atobe let out a sigh. His shoulder slumped and he stood against the door. He placed the back of his hand on his closed eyes. "I would never been your first and clearly won't be your last,huh?"

Fuji felt bad about them. How could they separate from each other if they had ever loved each other?

"Tezuka,maybe you should talk about it again? He might say the truth." Fuji whispered to the taller man.

Tezuka ignored him and put his arms around Fuji's back, and put his head on Fuji's right shoulder. Fuji was so nervous but he added,"Talk and listen. I'm sure you can understand each other that way."

"No. Please. There is nothing to talk anymore." He whispered back. "I need to talk to you instead."

"But.. I have no right to interfere your business and Atobe.."

Fuji peeked behind Tezuka's back and found that the narcissistic man had dissappeared. When did he go away?

Tezuka tugged Fuji into his apartment. He closed the door behind them.

"I'm sorry. He appeared when I was leaving. He insisted that it was about his business and need my advice." Tezuka sighed.

"It's okay. No one was harmed."

"About what we did.."

"Mou.. It's okay. I got it. I won't tell anyone. You don't have to explain it to me. We are friends,aren't we? I understand it perfectly." He didn't need to hear their lovey dovey moment,he had enough of it. Maybe it's the time for himself to disappear too.

"You are wrong. It's an accident."

"Yeah,you both went out and greeted each other good bye but suddenly he tripped and lip locked with you?"

Tezuka was stunned, "How could you know?" his eyes were dilated.

Fuji laughed. He didn't see anything funny but he couldn't stop laughing. It was so horrible that if he didn't laugh,he afraid that he would wailed and broken in front of Tezuka. He leaned on Tezuka's sofa and bent. He caught his breath after laughing so hard.

How could Tezuka did this to him?

"Liar. As an attorney you are not supposed to be a liar,Tezuka. You have a reputation to maintain,you know. What I saw clearly not an accident."

"It was."

"Well,if you insist. You should reconsider your decision,though. I think he does still love you. It's not my place to say it but I thought he deserves a second chance. Talk to him." Fuji patted Tezuka's shoulder and walked away.

"Once upon a time,I thought I was."

Fuji stopped on his track and turned to Tezuka. He tilted his head and looked at Tezuka,full of confusion.

"I don't understand."

"I was too afraid and too blind to admit it so I ran away. But I won't repeat the same mistake anymore." Tezuka was walking advanced toward Fuji while the smaller man went back in his steps.

They felt silent. Tezuka was waiting for Fuji's response while Fuji was thinking about Tezuka's unusual behavior.

"I know it's unfair to say this,not after all the problems I created. But I couldn't help it. I made mistakes. I hope you would forgive me. You said Atobe deserved a second chance,do I too? Can you give a second chance to win over you?"

Tezuka managed to trap Fuji between himself and the wall with his hand each side of Fuji's head. The smaller man seemed didn't aware of their position and opened his brilliant blue eyes.

"What do you you mean?"

"Fu..Syusuke. I.. Would you give a chance for me to be your boyfriend?" He looked straight into Fuji's eyes,his voice full of confidence and hope.

"Wha- You are joking,right? We are in a candid camera or something,right? Or- Do you need my help again this time just like before?" Fuji's voice were shaking. His body felt numb.

"I would never joke about this."

"Is that so? Why couldn't I believe in it?"

"It's true. I'm sorry for what I did. All of them. I just hope that-"

"You are not! What are you kidding about? After all the time. Do you expect me to bow,to worship it and accept your love without feeling hurt? Do you you expect me to forget what you did? Last time I checked you said our relationship was wrong. What happened? Are you taking me for a fool? Is this enjoyable to you? Oh,I see. Did you make a bet with Atobe? Why do you change your mind now? "

Tezuka's hands fell beside him. "Bet? What bet?" He looked puzzled.

"I don't know! Why don't we ask him? It's faster than asking it to you."

"Fuji,please. I know you are angry with me."

Angry? What Fuji felt was beyond of it. He was furious. It ate Fuji's emotions and he was afraid that he would do something he would regret later right in front of Tezuka.

"Fuji." Tezuka's hand reached out for him but Fuji moved away. Tezuka then balled his hand and sighed.

"Please,sit down. We need to talk."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Fuji,the truth is that I love you. I want to stay right beside you. I want to make you happy. I want to feel your days with laughter. A place to lean on when you are sad or tired. Can you give me,give us chance?"

Fuji looked at Tezuka. "Did you give me a chance before? You brushed me off like I was a dirt on your cloth. You didn't even look at me properly. Did I deserve it? Do you deserve it now?"

Tezuka didn't respond.

"I'm sorry but you are too late. Eleven years to be exact. I just don't understand.." he didn't understand why Tezuka say he love him now,not before. Why did he change his mind? Had something happened?

Fuji looked at Tezuka. Why Tezuka looked so sad? Was he wrong to tell Tezuka how he felt? How could their relationship get onto this nasty turbulence? Why couldn't them stand right before each other with a smile? Why did they have to suffer so much? Why did he still put his concern to this man?

No. He needed to clean his mind. He didn't want to take a decision hastily. "I have to go."

Tezuka fell silent.

"I'll drive you."

Still a gentleman even when we are conflicted,huh?

"I know my way home. Thanks for your consideration."

"Please call me when you arrive at your home." Fuji didn't reply it,however he took off as soon as he saw a chance.

Tezuka sat on his sofa and sighed.

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Fuji inhaled and exhaled several times when he stepped out of the building. He must be calm. He wouldn't go back home. It would be the first place for Tezuka to search for him. He needed a place to clear his mind.

He pulled out his phone and made a call.

"Help,Koujiro..."

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Okay,what will happen next? Any guess? Review? Please don't hate me? Lol..

Ps. Next chapter would be Tezuka's POV. Aaannndddd... There are three chapters left for this story! Yay! See ya next time!


	9. Chapter 9

Hi there! I managed to upload this chapter on Christmas! Merry Christmas everyone! May joy and blissful days come to us. It was the longest chapter I had ever write for this story and I hope I didn't disappoint you. Thanks to Fujiyuki-san and lesmystiquestar-san for your review. I appreciate it so much. Now,Enjoy minna-san! I own nothing from this men. *sad*

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Tezuka Kunimitsu had always been a serious boy.

He was born in a traditional family with a strict father and a stricter grandfather which made him became a too serious boy for his age. They put much expectations to him. Everyday he followed the schedule his grandfather arranged and did the workout his father planned. The only one who treated him as a little boy was his mother but it was rare chance to spoil the youngest Tezuka because of his attitude. His father and grandfather's influence were too much.

His father taught him how to be a boy who could protect the weakling,how to press his fear and changed it into his strength. His grandfather taught him how to think logically, "You'll find that it is easier to solve your problem with your brain than your heart." that what his grandfather always taught him,he also taught him how to never surrender to reach something he wanted,to be a resolved man. For them,feeling like sadness,pity,and desperation were not needed and so they should be thrown away. The feeling like love,affection and adoration were needed by the women only,as a truly man they shouldn't show their emotions easily. It was not manly.

The little Tezuka already knew how to put his emotions and feeling into boxes. The sadness,pitiful and embarrassment would be put in a box which would be thrown away. He would never thought about it anymore. He would learn from that experience. The feeling like happiness,pride and love would be kept in a better box which he would cherish when he remembered.

His mother tried to teach him that it was fine to play and showed his emotions when he felt it. She taught him to be more egoistic,to be more childish and to be more expressive. Tezuka didn't see any good in doing those. So he kept his father's and grandfather's dictation more into his head. His mother still loved him no matter what he did,though.

He also thought that people should be more guarded and keep walking in the line. They shouldn't do something unnecessarily. People shouldn't let their guard down.

So,when a little Fuji Syusuke entered his life,he threw Tezuka's world into chaos. He often made Tezuka questioning himself.

"What is this called?"

"The flower bed."

"What is this for?"

"It's used to plant the flower."

"Why did you put that plan into a pot?"

"It grows better when we separated it from the other."

Fuji looked around again. He squatted next to Tezuka who was busy planting his new plants. He wanted to finish it before dinner but Fuji made it became a difficult task. He didn't stop asking questions about the plants and everything else about them.

"Why did that tree so small?" Fuji pointed at a small tree in a pot.

Tezuka looked at the pointed tree. "It's called bonsai. People made it smaller so we can enjoy it better than the bigger one."

"Does the tree have a chibi fairy too? How do you make a small tree?" Fuji asked with a bright smile.

Tezuka thought about it for a moment and explained to Fuji how to cut and bend the branch and then how to take care of its leaves by looking at the branch and trunks. He even quoted his grandfather's technique. When he looked at the smaller boy again he was dissappeared from his position and was wondering next to the bonsai,with a scissors with him.

Tezuka managed to distract Fuji before he succeed cutting all of his grandfather's bonsai's branch which could cause a disaster. Fuji calmed down and started to ask 'why' again. Tezuka didn't mind it though,because being with Fuji was always fun.

It didn't take a long time before Fuji also helping him with gardening. Tezuka would dug a hole and Fuji would place a plant into the hole,Tezuka would close the hole and solidify it.

They worked in a harmony for the next hour. Then suddenly Fuji stopped working and sat on the ground.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?" Tezuka asked in a concern voice.

Fuji shook his head but he looked at the ground with his bangs closed his eyes.

"Fuji,what's wrong? Do you hurt yourself? I'll take some medicine,okay?"

"No. It's not. It's just.. Why don't you have cactus?"

"Cactus?" Tezuka decided to rest for awhile and sat next to Fuji.

"Un.. It's a nice plant,you know. It has many shapes. Mama bought me a book about cactus. I love it so much. We even went to the botanical garden. It was fun,you know. There were many shapes of cactus I don't know yet. There even a heart shaped cactus!"

Tezuka was amused by Fuji's antics. He was really a cute boy. Tezuka could spend his time watching the little Fuji speaking.

"But..ne.. Mama didn't allow me to bring back a cactus." Fuji pouted.

"Why?"

"It could hurt Yuta. He was a little boy,you know. Yuta could be spiked by its thorns. So for now I can only read from the book. Mama said she was going to bring me there again..but she is always busy." Fuji exhaled.

"It's okay. Someday you'll have your own cactus and you can even open your own botanical garden."

Fuji's smile back onto his face. "Un.." Fuji nodded and then they started to work again.

That night Tezuka spent his night reading about cactus from his grandfather's book collection.

He bought a small,pretty cactus for Fuji's birthday present. It had soft thorns so it would be safe for both Fuji and his brother. Fuji was delighted by his cactus. For Tezuka,Fuji's smile was worth more than his world.

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Girls often confessed their undying love to him but he didn't find any interest in them although almost all of his friends were envying him.

Tezuka ignored them. Fuji is better. He is cute,delicate boy with a porcelain skin which always looks so soft and plump to be touched. It's not like Tezuka always touch it. Tezuka never,okay may be twice,thrice,forget it. He never missed his chance to touch Fuji.

When Tezuka entered the junior high,puberty hit him. It hit him hard.

His teacher taught them that it was normal to feel attracted by the opposite sex. Many of his friends talk about girls in their class,who was the prettiest,who was the sexiest,who was the cutest. Tezuka didn't see any cuteness or attractiveness from the opposite gender. His friends didn't believe in him when he answered no one was attractive enough for him. It's true that several female students were prettier or cuter than the rest but physical factors were ambiguous, just like how people thought about flowers. Some would love rose but the other would like lily more.

To put it simple,Tezuka would better being with Fuji than any girls around him. Fuji was a great boy,he was an independent boy,he had his own conviction,he would help people even if he would lost something in the end. As a young boy,Fuji had many knowledge about plants which always been an usual topic for their conversation. He even could make his grandfather laughed. Tezuka could spend all his day to point out Fuji's special quality.

Tezuka really did love to spend his days with Fuji. He loved—

—Fuji.

Was that wrong? Wasn't a boy supposed to love a girl?

Tezuka search for an answer from books but it didn't help much. He wanted to ask his teacher but he didn't manage to find a right way to ask. He couldn't ask anyone else. This feeling disturb him for a long time. Should he keep this feeling without knowing it was fine or not? Or should he forget it all?

This brought him into a little discussion with his mother. He was hesitated at the first but his mother encouraged him to tell her his problem. When he finally told her his preference,his mother was shocked. They didn't say anything just thinking in the silent. Tezuka waited for his mother's response till he thought she and his family would never aprroved his preference. He almost ashamed after that moment but his mother took his hand and told him that they would never abandoned their beloved son just because he was 'special'. They would still love him the same,a big relief for Tezuka.

Their conversation interrupted by Fuji's visit. Tezuka couldn't confess more than that to his mother cause by the little cute yet curious boy.

"Syuu-kun.. You are so cute,right Kunimitsu? I hope he is my son. You should treat him well as a little brother you don't have,Kunimitsu! Mama would be very glad if you both are brothers." His mother then left them to make dinner.

Brothers? Mother wants Fuji to be his brother? Can't Fuji become more than that? Can't he treat Fuji more than that? Is it wrong to love Fuji? Is his mother going to be mad at him if he love Fuji more than that?

Although his mother said it was fine but he could see a hint of sadness and disappointment in her eyes. Tezuka hurt her enough and he didn't want to make her and his family suffer more.

In the end Tezuka Kunimitsu decided that he would bury his feeling for Fuji since he knew they would never be able to own each other.

It would be the best. He would love Fuji as a brother would. He would help the little boy when nobody would. He would keep his distance but always been his side,like a brother so when Fuji found someone he loved and cherish he would dissappear into the darkness.

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A senior high school was really different from his previous junior high. Everyone was more mature and more responsible to their life. Tezuka really enjoyed it except a man called Atobe Keigo. He was a rude,narcissistic and good at nothing except his show off. That what Tezuka thought at the first but after some times he spent with the grey headed boy he knew that the boy also had his own problems.

They didn't need a long time to be a friend although some of their friends thought they would never be friends. Atobe was a man with a big confidence and enjoyed to show it to everyone whereas Tezuka was a quiet one who believe people should keep themselves together. While Tezuka liked to do his works by himself,Atobe would gladly hand his works over to his friends because "Oresama is too good to do this kind of job!" which ended with extra works for Tezuka. In another chance,Tezuka wanted to finish his works as fast as possible but Atobe liked to procrastinate so they often handed the school's works with a glare from their teachers. Much toTezuka's delight.

Tezuka didn't know what possessed him to be with such a man yet he enjoyed their time together.

"Tezuka nii-chan! Let's meet at the Christmas's eve! I'll wait at the bench we always go together." Fuji popped right in front of his door.

"Aa.." Tezuka looked at Fuji's features of fluffy Fuji who donned in a big fashionable jacket,wrapped by a big scarfs altogether with an ear muffler -don't forget about the pinkish cheeks- for a moment but shook his feeling away. He then took off to catch his bus. Last night he stayed out late to fill the students council work and together with his tennis club. He almost late to his school also he had test at the first period.

His days filled with a busy activities and his sleep deprived days showed up its results.

"Why do we have to come to school and do this stupid students councils' job when we should already have our holiday,ahn?" Atobe slammed the paperwork on the table but Tezuka didn't take any attention to him.

"You can go home,Atobe. I'll continue it by myself."

"Oresama never leaves his works unfinished,hmph!" Tezuka looked unamused.

"Look! It's snowing,Tezuka!"

"I hope you have finished your works." Tezuka replied flatly.

"Ahn.. Oresama has finished his parts. It's you who work too slow." He snorted.

"You can go home,then. I'll lock the door when I go home later."

"You really don't get it,huh,Tezuka."

Tezuka sighed,this man surely liked to talk. He still needed to finish the final reports and wrote down the next year schedule. So much work.

"I still have much works,if you by chance have something to tell me then do tell. I don't have enough time to play your little game,Atobe."

"Still a man with strict rules."

"Atobe.." Tezuka growled.

"It's a good night,Ahn? Snowing and everything. People prefer to spend it with a beloved one,huh?"

Tezuka decided to ignore Atobe's rant and finish his works faster since Atobe lost his brain after did his works and Tezuka didn't have much time to hear it.

"...like you. Do you hear Oresama,Tezuka."

"Sorry. I didn't catch it."

"Oresama wants you to be his boyfriend,Tezuka."

"Atobe"

"It's been more than a half year now after entered this school. Oresama thought it would be another boring school but then Oresama met you. You should be glad that Oresama choose you,Tezuka."

"Are you drunk,by chance?"

"What a rude man! Oresama never need a drink to tell his feeling. So what do you say,Tezuka?"

Tezuka studied the rich boy and he showed a nervous smile unlike his usual narcissistic smirk. His cheeks also tinted by a blush. He was serious.

Tezuka never thought that the rich boy would confess to him. He was too proud to do that yet he did it. Tezuka really appreciated it,except his heart belonged to someone else. He couldn't accept this boy.

"I'm faltered but I'm sorry. I like someone else so we are better be friends,no more than that. Thank you,Atobe."

"Are you serious? You turned Oresama's confession down? There won't be another chance to win over Oresama for the next time,you know?" He looked confused and ashamed.

"I know." If Fuji didn't take a big part of his heart he would think about it.

Atobe stood from his chair and headed to the door. "Oresama.."

"Hn?"

"Oresama will wait and Oresama sure that you'll come to Oresama in the end."

"Aa.."

With that Atobe slammed the door close and left Tezuka with the works,alone.

"Tezuka-kun. Is Syusuke with you right now? He hasn't come home yet. I'm just making sure that he is fine."

Fuji!

When he arrived to the promised place Fuji was so pale and cold. He then collapsed on the snow. Tezuka got panic and guilty to make someone as important as Fuji to suffer. He put Fuji into his embrace and brought him home in the bridal style. He chanted 'I'm sorry' in each of his step,asking for a forgiveness from the God and from the little boy in his arms.

"He is still a little feverish but it is lower than the previous night." Fuji's mother informed him when he visited Fuji.

"I see. I'm sorry to make such a problem for you,Fuji-san."

She smiled at him with an assured smile,"It's okay. I know it was Syusuke who stubbornly asked you to meet him. I couldn't stop him and I know he would leave quietly and waited for you even if I prohibit it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay now. He will learn his lesson from this experience. Thank you,Tezuka-kun."

Fuji's mother left him and went to shop their daily needs so Tezuka volunteered to watch Fuji over.

"Fuji." Tezuka said and walked into the bedroom.

The room was dimmed and the boy was sleeping soundly on his bed. His face was little flushed from the fever and he muttered something in his sleep. Tezuka took the cloth on his head and rinse it with fresh water then placed it again on his head.

He took the study chair and sat next to the little boy. His guilt was eating his up. How could he forget about their appointment? What was Fuji's intention to wait in the middle of night? Tezuka tugged Fuji's hair and placed it behind Fuji's ear. Such a delicate boy.

"Baka." Tezuka murmured.

"Nii-chan.. I'm.. Sorry.. Nii-chan." Fuji said with tears flew from his closed eyes.

 _It was wrong. His feeling was wrong._

Tezuka felt his own tears dropped. How could Fuji think about people's forgiveness in his condition? Tezuka was the one who must asked for a forgiveness. He made Fuji collapsed and suffering so much. Fuji shouldn't do that,Tezuka didn't know what would happen if Fuji kept making Tezuka as his priority.

"Sorry.. Nii-chan.. I'm.."

Fuji was too precious. He couldn't damage their bond.

 _No. It's Wrong._

 _Wrong._

 _"I love you_." Tezuka blurted

Tezuka was taken back by his action. What did he do? He didn't confess to Fuji,did he? He did but fortunately Fuji was unconscious to hear it.

Tezuka inclined his head towards the sick boy till his head hovered on the little boy. He stopped for a moment and he could feel Fuji's breath fanning his lips but then lowered his head until his lips touched the warm lips. He dragged his lipes to the corner of Fuji's lips and gave a little peck on to it. It was warmer than his own and softer. He kept his lips there for awhile to carve this moment in his memory for eternity. Let it be his own secret.

"I'm sorry. It's the last time. If my presence made you suffer so much then let me watch you from afar. Good bye,my love."

That night Fuji's fever went down while Tezuka caught a cold and had to bed rested for a week.

#########################

Fuji's confession stopped his heartbeat but he suddenly remembered that Fuji would be never more than his brother. People always expected them to be brother and no one asked his opinion.

How could the fate so cruel to them? If they didn't meet a a childhood friend,could their story been different?

The face Fuji showed after his rejection almost made him kneeled, asked for forgiveness also asked him to be his boyfriend but he didn't do it. It's not fair to keep Fuji's hope so he rejected it although it teared his own heart too. He used his mother words about how they were brothers and nothing more. Because it was wrong and they were brothers. Brothers,he loathed that word. But still he convinced Fuji to accept it just as he did.

That day, his heart was broken eventhough he was the one who rejected the little boy. He prayed over and over for Fuji to find someone better than him and love him as Fuji deserved it.

#########################

His separation from Fuji brought him closer to Atobe gradually. He didn't know how it started but suddenly he was in a relationship with the mentioned man. Atobe knew his feeling for Fuji and he still believed that oneday Tezuka would turn his love toward him,not Fuji.

He kept his relationship hidden and platonic. Yes,they were closer but they didn't held hand,didn't say the sweet words to each other,they date at Atobe's house,they even didn't have their first kiss yet after their first anniversary. Atobe was getting furious and Tezuka dodged all his advanced while pretending that nothing happened.

Atobe invited himself to his seventeenth birthday that day through his mother. He could be a devilish charming boy if he wanted to and his mother was trapped in his show. Tezuka wasn't interested in celebrating his birthday,moreover Fuji wouldn't be there. He knew he was a sly man,thinking another boy while having a boyfriend but he couldn't help it,Fuji had been the centre of his world for a long time.

His family weren't home when he arrived and Atobe walked casually into his house. As a good host,he made drinks and kept conversation flew. At the first they talked as usual, exchanging some jokes and sarcasms but the atmosphere changed suddenly when Tezuka mentioned his friend,Fuji. Atobe's face got darkened and suddenly they were kissing each other. Tezuka stopped him after a bruising kiss but he couldn't muster a will to stop him when he saw Atobe's distressed face.

"Why did you stop me,Tezuka? You told me that you would try,didn't you?" Atobe said in a shaking voice which made Tezuka felt culpable and pitied the man in front of him.

"Aa.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'll try." Tezuka tilted his head and placed his lips onto Atobe's which accepted by the rich boy eagerly. They started making out on Tezuka's sofa with Atobe on top of Tezuka. Tezuka tried his best to forget and kept his attention to the boy on him instead. Yet,it was Fuji's hair he wanted to touch,Fuji's skin he wanted to feel and Fuji's lips he wanted to kiss. The thought of Fuji brought his body into an arousal. Their blazers were tossed aside together with their ties. Atobe kept touching him when Tezuka did too.

A gasp from a familiar voice woke him from his imagination. Tezuka was startled to see Fuji stood in his livingroom with a pale face. Tezuka didn't hear what Atobe and Fuji talked about,he wasn't aware of his condition since he placed his attention into the little boy only. It had been a long time since last he saw Fuji and the little boy surely grew into a sweetheart. He stood and asked Fuji what he needed.

 _Do you miss me?_

Fuji suddenly dashed out of his house and he started to follow him bit Atobe's hand stopped him. "Let him go Tezuka. It is for the best. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Tezuka looked at the closed door and cursed himself. "Aa.."

Tezuka concluded that Fuji and him had to talk about his newfound relationship. He came over Fuji's place but little boy always found a way to slipped away from his hands.

Fuji,forgive me.

#########################

His depatured to Germany was intentionally planned. Tezuka thought his anxiety to Fuji would change if they were separated and maybe someday they would be best friend again just like before. He didn't want to disappoint his family and Atobe,too.

The night of his depature celebration,he finally could talk to Fuji. He was taller now although his head didn't reach his chin yet. His sandy brown hair was at the chin length which suit him well. Fuji looked so sad and pale,he tried to give his best smile but he failed miserably.

He had to stop his hands from reaching out the little boy. They talked about his schooling abroad with Atobe and Fuji cut their conversation saying he had works to do. Tezuka reached out and hugged him.

This is for the last time. Only this once.

I'm sorry.

They separated that night. It's time to move on. Or so he thought.

#########################

Living in Germany did give him a new perspective his constantly busy life kept him distracted from Fuji. He promised him to send a post card so when weekend came by he would sit in front of his table and started to write.

 _To Fuji_.

Each week passed and he kept sending a post card to his little boy. He always asked how was the boy been,wrote about his life here and sometimes joke about the people he met.

 _Did you miss me?_

 _Because I do miss you,so much that it hurt._

There was no reply from the little boy.

###################

His relationship with Atobe ran down the hill after the incident at his house. They did try to make this relationship work but their own feelings were overwhelming,Atobe with his nagging about how Tezuka didn't try his best while Tezuka with his hesitant behavior toward Atobe. He realized that he couldn't build a relationship from a pity and guilty yet,Atobe didn't want to understand. He kept Tezuka in his reach although Tezuka already kept his distance. Atobe still wanted them to be boyfriends while Tezuka thought it was the best for them to be friends.

Atobe was not satisfied and started to bring his one night stand boy or girlfriend. He always showed Tezuka how people worshipped Atobe and Tezuka should be glad that Oresama chose him.

A photo in a frame was sent to him from one of his boys or girlfriends,Tezuka didn't know which one. It was Atobe's photo taken from his bed,a very naked Atobe. Tezuka felt hurt,how could their relationship change so much?

Atobe confronted him one day saying he was tired of waiting him. Tezuka admitted it at the last,their relationship couldn't be more than friends. Tezuka would never be able to forget Fuji.

"If we met before you met him,would you love me more?" Atobe bowed and whispered sadly.

Could he?

"I don't think so. I'm sorry doing this to you but I think this is for the best. We should continue our life well. You are a great man who deserve someone better than me. Good bye,Atobe."

That day he moved out of Atobe's castle and lived alone,a quiet and peaceful life. Of course,together with a stack of postcard.

#########################

Tezuka decided to go back to Japan and work there because it was closer to his family and his friends,he also didn't want to meet Atobe in the near future and the last was because it would be easier to meet Fuji.

He took a small vacation and went to his parents' house at Kanagawa. He expected to meet Fuji there yet he found that Fuji and his family moved back to Chiba and no,his mother didn't know or rather couldn't tell him where they live. He asked his mother at least five times a day about Fuji's whereabouts yet his mother kept her mouth shut. In the end he realized that his mother was told to keep silent about Fuji and his family. Tezuka went blank,he lost all of his connection with Fuji and he had to move to Tokyo immediately while not knowing Fuji's information,he could be anywhere in this world and Tezuka didn't know where to start with.

Before his departured,his mother forced him to admit his problem to her and finally realized that Fuji was his son's love and it was her fault so Tezuka couldn't get his happiness. She gave him Fuji's address and it gave Tezuka a big hope to find his love.

One month later he went to the address and the wanted man was no where to be seen. Fuji once again slipped away from him.

Tezuka was delighted when he saw Fuji at the interior office. His annoyance about his ruined house was replaced by a big smile -although subtle- when he saw the slender man.

Fuji had changed so much,his hair was longer now, he tied it with a red ribbon and placed it on his left shoulder. His features were sharpened although he still looked feminine,his cheeks bones were finer with a pointed nose,his lips looked plump and kissable rose pink,and his height..Still a little man,indeed. His head still hadn't reached Tezuka's chin. It was his voice which made Tezuka swayed. It was not heavy toned like himself but a light and soft voice,like a fine tuned flute. He loved all of Fuji.

Fuji looked uneasy when he saw him and Tezuka knew he would flew away at the first chance he saw so Tezuka made sure that Fuji always been his side. For Tezuka wouldn't let this chance slipped from his hand anymore. His mistakes made him suffer so did Fuji,his family and Atobe. This time he would fight for Fuji eventhough his family disapproved,eventhough he had to fight the world and eventhough the world end now. He would fight till Fuji became his.

#########################

"I want a different color for my wall."

"Okay. Which is?"

"Blue." just like your eyes.

Fuji noted his request down. "Sure."

"I want to add a comfortable place to read and place a quite big table next to the window. I hope you can find a comfortable reading chair,preferably a set with the table."

Fuji didn't ask anything unrelated to his job,had he asked Tezuka would gladly answered. The chair and its table would be his present for Fuji. The slender man could spend his time reading his magazine or talked to his cactus there,while Tezuka was doing his job at his desk.

Fuji chuckled. "Sure."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing more."

"If that's all,we will start tomorrow. Is that fine?"

"Hn.."

#########################

Tezuka's confession was true,he meant it but when he saw Fuji's reaction it made him cowered and convincing that he needed Fuji's need to chase one of his fans away. He didn't have any choice,he didn't want to ruin his brittle relationship with Fuji. He had to restraint himself to make a move on Fuji.

His client's daughter was an easy case,he knew how to get rid her easily but he wanted Fuji to help him,Fuji to care like before and monopolize all of Fuji for himself.

That night Fuji appeared and didn't let him down.

When he sat next to him all of his senses were attracted to the smaller man,his voice,his smell and his heat. His blue eyes were so mesmerizing. Tezuka couldn't move his eyes away from him. All he wanted to do was pulling Fuji into his embrace and kissed him senseless.

His thought moved into the dangerous area so he cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment.

When Kenzaki-san went home,Fuji teased him,"Really,Tezuka. I don't know you lose your 'woman repellent' magic now. I never see a desperate Tezuka before." He chuckled.

The answers were no and yes. No,he hadn't lose his repellent magic yet but he was truly desperate in his need of Fuji,so yes for his second statement.

Tezuka brought Fuji back to his home and served him omurice for dinner. They could had it at any restaurant there but he needed Fuji for himself that he couldn't stop himself to touch Fuji whenever he found it fits just like when they were younger.

Fuji's skin was still as smooth as before which lead him into a pervert (he never thought about something trivia as this before and it scared him now) and he wondered if his lips as soft as his skin too.

His curiosity was answered that night,too.

#########################

Tezuka had never been jealous before,not to Atobe's lovers,not to his friends' pretty girlfriend,not to his competitors winning in their most difficult cases yet he was so jealous of Fuji's and his friends relation. They were so close,it may be closer than his relationship with Fuji before. Fuji always looked so happy and excited when talking about this man.

Did Fuji love him? More than his love to Tezuka? Were they lover?

No,they weren't because Fuji never talked about it. Or did he cover his relationship up? This feeling made him had a bad migraine at daylight and insomnia at night.

Fuji's words about his friends yet not lovers relationship between him and that man miraculously relieved him from his migraine and finally he could sleep well that night.

#########################

"Yo! Tezuka. Oresama has an important matter to talk."

"Atobe." He answered flatly.

Tezuka was on his way to meet Fuji and to spend his precious weekend with a precious person but this man sudden appearance rang an alarm inside his head. Atobe was rarely associated with a good news for him,at least not after their separation.

"Well? Would you allow Oresama go in or we will just stand here all day long?" Atobe said in his usual voice.

Tezuka looked at Atobe with suspicious eyes ,"I don't have time this moment. Please meet me at my office tomorrow morning."

"It's an urgent matter and I do need your advice."

"It's my day off,Atobe."

"Oresama thought you won't refuse a difficult case? Oresama needs your advice now since Oresama will fly to New York to settle this matter. Oresama believes in your opinion."

"Ten minutes." Tezuka walked into his house with Atobe right behind him.

Apparently,ten minutes for Tezuka was different from Atobe. Atobe spent almost two hours talking,cursing and barking about his investment which faced problems. Tezuka tried to explain and found the solutions as best as he could but the complaining man wasn't bugged. He wasn't satisfied with Tezuka's solutions and demanded another one so two hours were spent with rounds of discussion (complaining and reasoning).

Tezuka glanced at his clock for the nth time and realized how late he was and he didn't want Fuji to wait any longer.

"I think that's all I can do for you. If you need any help please contact me through my office,my private time is off of the limit."

"What? Oresama still has many things to say! What's the matter anyway? It's your day off,isn't it?"

"I have an appointment."

"With whom? A king? A queen? Are they more important than Oresama?"

"Aa.. You can contact me if you find any problems tomorrow." Tezuka walked Atobe to his door and locked it.

"Well then.." He stepped away from his door.

"Tezuka,I.." Atobe stepped nearer to Tezuka but tripped on his foot which ended with his mouth on Tezuka's.

They ended with an awkward position but Atobe seemed enjoying himself. Tezuka pushed Atobe away but before his action succeed,Fuji saw them. It was his worst nightmare. He could see Fuji's sadness and disappointment. Tezuka heart soared with delight since Fuji looked so sad,he wouldn't be so sad if he didn't have any feeling for him,would he?

Although three of them met in a misunderstanding but he wanted to clear his intention to both of men. One was who would never got his heart and one who had his heart yet he denied it before.

Atobe dissappeared after his words to him but Tezuka vowed to ended it for eternally so the rich man wouldn't disturb them in the future unless he promised to behave.

Tezuka didn't let this chance go away,he confessed to Fuji at that moment too and was rejected.

He laughed in a cynicism.

First when he fell in love and Fuji confessed,he denied him. Now,after his resolution and confessed to Fuji,he was rejected.

"I'm sorry but you are too late. Eleven years to be exact. I just don't understand.."

He knew it wouldn't be easy to win over Fuji's heart. The damage had been made and their hearts wouldn't be same as before.

Fuji then rushed from his house,leaving him alone with his thoughts. Tezuka frown at Fuji's response,if the younger man truly hate him,he wouldn't said that right? Did he misinterpreted Fuji's intention? A person won't tell something to hurt someone else unless he was hurted too. If Fuji was hurted by his closeness with Atobe,could he keep his hope that Fuji still care?

Tezuka smiled. If he was eleven years too late then he only neeeded to cover up the lost years. He wouldn't let this chance away like before,he would do his best to woo Fuji and get their happy ending.

"Yuda sezu ni ikou,Fuji."

* * *

I'm sorry for the cliffhanger,again! *sorry BusyDoin'Nothin-san* I love to make people curious. *slap*

But at least we know how Tezuka actually felt,ne? Can you feel it? Can you? Review please !


	10. Chapter 10

Happy new year everyone! A new chapter for a new beginning! And... Thank you always for my readers, especially Fujiyuki-san (I love you! Thanks for your review for each chapter!) , thanks to Anon-san and sof-san too for the review. This chapter will be the conclusion and next will the the end of this story. Enjoy and don't forget to Rnr! *winkwink*

* * *

The dialing tone was replayed again and not long after that was replaced by a smooth voice who he missed so much.

 _"Sorry,I can't pick up my phone right now. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you."_

"Fuji. It's me. Can we talk? Please call me after hearing my message. I'll wait." Tezuka disconnected his phone.

It has been four months since last he saw Fuji. The sakura's petals had withered and replaced by the fresh leaves of summer now. The day felt hotter and humidifier than before but you couldn't hear the constant singing of cicada of summer in Tokyo unlike his hometown. His works kept flowing and finished rather quickly thanks to the well managed schedule so he used his free time to call Fuji and wasn't answered,as always.

It was so disappointing that Fuji was avoiding him till now. For the first two months he tried to contact him but it was futile action. Only then he found that Fuji had to do a project at Hokkaido. He tried to catch up with him through the phone but was directed to voice-mail. It was so frustrating.

However,he never been able to find a resentment toward the smaller man instead he found it amusing. Finally he could reach Fuji with his true intention without concealing it using another reason. Well,he was constantly avoiding him,yes but it didn't mean Tezuka would step back. He would win over Fuji again and again to show him his love.

He smiled at his thought and dialed a number he called for the last two months after.

#########################

"A food delivery for Fuji-san!" shouted a man with a sushi's restaurant uniform.

"It comes again,Fuji-san." Kiko squealed in a delight.

Fuji tilted his head from his work and groaned inwardly. For the last two months Tezuka sent him a lunch from favorite restaurants and in wide range too. There were Japan,Italy,Germany,France till China's restaurant. How much it costs,Fuji never thought about it. Had he the time,he would eat it with a fake scowl in his face and when he didn't have time he would let his co-workers to eat it instead.

Sometimes he would find a cactus placed in front of his door,a mini cactus,a lovely shaped cactus and even rare colored cactus. All of them were placed on a new cupboard in his room,next to the window. When Fuji had a bad day,a bouquet of flower was sent to his house which caused a blush. It was a sweet gesture and Fuji couldn't help to fall in love again with him.

"Thank you." Fuji accepted the food and decided to contact Tezuka soon. He should ended it long ago but he didn't have the will to stop Tezuka's affection toward him. It was so romantic yet he knew he shouldn't make Tezuka did something like this more.

"This time is wasabi sushi,right? Aw.. I'm so jealous of you,Fuji-san! It's me who has a boyfriend yet you are the one who received this lovely gesture. I hope my boyfriend can learn from your secret admirer." Kiko said to him.

Well,he should ask his boss,then. "I think so too,ne?" Fuji smiled.

"Well,I'm off to my lunch. Have a nice lunch,Fuji-san!"

"You,too." He waved.

He picked up his phone and dialed Tezuka's number. It rang twice before answered. "Fuji." Tezuka stated in a deep baritone voice.

"Tezuka."

Both of them fell silence,didn't know what they should say.

"Do you enjoy your lunch?" Tezuka asked finally.

"Maa.. You shouldn't do something like this anymore. I can buy my own food you know. I'll pay you back the foods."

"Pay me back?" Tezuka sounded insulted.

"Well.. It costs money when you send me something like this. I don't want you spending your money unwisely so I'll pay you back."

"Sure." Fuji raised his brows. He didn't know that Tezuka would agree easily.

"What's the catch?"

There was a voice from Tezuka's side and if Fuji didn't know Tezuka well he would think that Tezuka was snorting.

"Aa.. Nothing. Maybe a lunch or dinner tonight?"

Fuji looked at this time table and shook his head. "I'm sorry,I have a promise already."

"Aa.. I am going to Osaka for business trip for three days. What about this weekend? There is a Matsuri to celebrate the summer."

Fuji sighed. "If it's fine with you and please don't do unnecessary things anymore. It's so annoying."

Tezuka chuckled and answered,"I'm sorry but I won't. It's my way to woo and make you fall in love madly with me."

"Tezuka,seriously now?" Fuji tried to sound angry but this voice was quivering instead.

"Aa.. "

#########################

The Matsuri was closed for two hours now yet Fuji was nowhere to be see. Tezuka had called him several times but it was directed to the voice-mail. He waited there for six hours since seven o'clock in the evening. It was a great festival and filled with people. They closed the festival with fireworks. It was truly beautiful,he could even see it from his position. People started to go home after the fireworks. The kiosks people asking him to join their after party for pitying him standing there for hours and he declined it. Now this place was as idle as a cemetery.

He dialed Fuji's number once again and he thought he heard a phone ringing near there.

"Still waiting,I see."

"Fuji,where are you? Are you okay?" Tezuka looked around the dark yet he found nothing.

"Sorry, but I forgot about our plan. The jobs keep me busy." He answered with a sarcasm.

Tezuka knew rightaway that Fuji didn't talk about their promise for Matsuri but the promise at the Christmas's eve. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.."

"It's okay,Tezuka. At least it isn't winter and you are not a twelve years old boy." I'm sorry but I just couldn't forgive you yet,not at this moment.

"Fuji.."

"Go home,Tezuka. You are waiting for nothing. I won't come. Good bye." Fuji walked away from the tree several feet from Tezuka's. He arrived at the Matsuri after Tezuka but he didn't find a courage to meet him. He had walked from his spot several times yet his feet didn't move so far since his heart wasn't ready. He watched form afar,many women try to hit on the bespectacled man yet he refused them politely and waited for Fuji patiently. He thought the taller man would went back home after waiting for three hours yet he was waiting till the Matsuri over and still waiting after midnight.

"Is your feeling true? Can I believe it?" He sighed,"What do you want from me,actually?" He whispered and went home.

#########################

"Congratulations for your wedding day." He said with a smile,giving the bride a hug.

"Oh my. Fuji-kun. It has been a long time." the bride said with a bright smile.

"Don't forget that I am here too,Kaoru-senpai." He teased their senior high school senpai.

"Saeki-kun! You both come! I'm happy! I don't expect much when I send you my invitation." she laughed.

"It's our beloved senpai's wedding! We must attend,right?" Saeki said while giving the bride a hug.

Actually Fuji didn't want to attend this wedding party. It was held at Kanagawa,his childhood hometown which held so many memories, good, bad, sickening, happy and sad. All of this was blamed to Koujiro.

 _"I won't go."_

 _"What? Whyyy?" Saeki whined._

 _"It's not held at Tokyo,I'm busy. I have to finish my project." Fuji sighed._

 _Saeki spun his spoon and sip his coffee. They had breakfast near Fuji's office. It was a nice café with a reasonable price eventhough it was placed at the centre of Tokyo. "The party is on weekend. Many of our friends have rsvp it. It would be a small reunion party too,don't you think?"_

 _"Well,it's quite far from here. I don't have time to reserve the accommodation and everything."_

 _"Don't worry,leave it to me. I have contacted our friends and we are going to share a rented apartment there." He answered with a smug smile._

 _And Fuji lost the argument._

 _"Besides,I'm sure the problems are not your job or the accommodation." He took another sip._

 _Fuji's put his cup to its place before sipped it. His hand was shaking. "Yeah."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"It's my hometown before I move back to Chiba."_

 _"Tezuka doesn't live there." Saeki said straightforwardly because he knew Tezuka was the real reason why Fuji refused to attend._

 _"His family does." Fuji answered grimly._

 _"It is not like we are parading on the street for god's sake. We just attend a small party till night then go back to the apartment and finally go home in the morning. It's a big city." Saeki rolled his eyes._

 _"Still.."_

 _"She is our senpai at photography club. She helped us much when we face a difficulty, a contest, even when we fought each other, remember? Moreover,They need you as their photographer. She is so proud of you."_

 _Fuji kept silent but Saeki knew he had won the argument, he just need a little bit push. "If you go,I'll treat you the ice cream at the ice cream parlor next to the station. A whole week." Fuji never refused to eat that ice cream._

 _Fuji tilted his head,"Make it two." He finally answered with a smile._

 _"Deal."_

The wedding was perfect. It was decorated with white and gold. They had a garden party concept. The bride and groom walked and talked to the guests. Fuji took his time and recorded this moment through his camera. It was truly beautiful. He was happy that he attended this party. His friends didn't change much except their physical appearance. They were still a warm family for him.

The party was finished a little after seven. Saeki had to rushed back to Tokyo since his subordinate made a mistake at work. Fuji was forced to stay by his friends and Saeki didn't help, betrayer.

After a long discussion, they decided to continue the party at a big restaurant near the city hall. Feeling not interested, Fuji then went home. He didn't want to stay longer at that place. He could still catch the last train before arriving at the last station to Tokyo.

He packed his things and readied to go home. It took fifteen minutes from the rented apartment to the station. He took out his camera and started another round of photographing while walking. The summer here was still the same. Time changed but the place remained same. He stopped at the traffic light,the station was right in front of him.

Nothing happened. He only need to cross this street and walked into the train then said good bye Kanagawa.

He jinxed it.

A taxi then stopped next to him then a middle aged woman came out of it. Fuji didn't pay her any attention for he kept chanting Tokyo in his mind. When she closed the door,her bags fell down and her things poured out of it. Fuji draped his camera on his shoulder and rushed to help her.

"Are you okay,ma'am?" Fuji picked oranges and apples right in front of him.

"Oh,my.. Oh,my.. Yes. Thank you young lady. It's my carelessness. Thank you."

Fuji chuckled by her mistaking him as a she. "Here,let me—"

"Oh,my.. You are Syuu-kun,aren't you?" the woman exclaimed.

Fuji tilted his head and met a pair of brown eyes which he never seen for a long time. "Ayana-san." He choked. From all of the people.

"I'm sorry for calling you as a lady. It's rude of me. What are you doing here? It's not like I don't like to meet you here. Do you work here? Where are your families? Do you come here together with them?" she didn't stop talking.

"No,I was attending my senpai's wedding. I came with my friends but I have to go back now."

"Oh,I see." she rearranged her posture so all of her belongings were steady. Fuji as a well mannered man, offered her his help.

They walked toward town area and turned right after the intersection. "Where are you going,Ayana-san?"

"A friend of mine. Her daughter gave birth a baby boy two days ago. I want to send these as a congratulations. I couldn't wait to see the baby! I hope Kunimitsu would give me many grandchildren too." she answered dreamily.

Fuji went rigid. He tightened his arms around the packages. She was unaware of Fuji's uneasiness.

"Oh,there is the house." she pointed to a big house with a tall white gate.

"It's quite far from your house,Ayana-san. Why didn't you come with Kuniharu-san,too. I'm sure he would gladly help you."

She pressed the door's bell. "He is busy and I don't think he will love to see other people's child. He prefer his own grandchild. Oh,hi. It's me,Tezuka Ayana."

The gate was opened not long after. Fuji followed the woman into the house. It was a Japanese style big house with a large garden and a koi pond placed strategically. They walked to the front door and a warm smiled woman received them.

"Konbanwa,Ayana-san. I don't know you would come today. I hope you won't mind my messed house come in,come in."

"Konbanwa,Oyumi-san. I planned to come yesterday but I didn't have time till today. Here,I brought some presents for you and your new family member."

They moved to the livingroom and a servant was called to serve them drinks and cakes. Fuji couldn't bragged into the conversation,it was rude, so he would wait until they finished and would execuse himself. The women who sat across of him chatted for several minutes till Oyumi-san looked at Fuji. "Well,Ayana-san. I don't know you have got a bride for your Kunimitsu." she patted Ayana's shoulder playfully.

"Ara.. It's my second son,self-proclaimed though. He is Fuji Syusuke." she introduced.

She raised her brows giving a quick assessment,"Really? I thought he is a young girl. Please forgive this senile old woman,young man." she gave him a warm smile.

"It's okay,Oyumi-san. I used to it. No one was harmed."

Fuji didn't have chance to execuse because the ladies insisted him to accompany them, they even visited the baby named Hiro. He was a cute boy. Ayana and Oyumi both was trying to snatch the baby from each other. Fuji took the opportunity and took many photos. He would send it to Tezuka after developing it.

"It's now your turn,Fuji-kun."

"Eh?"

"Here,let me help you." Ayana took his camera away and Oyumi tried to put the baby into Fuji's hands.

"I never carry a baby before. I'm afraid my inexperience can hurt him what if I drop him when I cradle him? Or what would we do if he cry?." He tried to refuse.

"You are so funny,Fuji-kun. Nonsense. You will be a father oneday and you must be able to. Now,consider it as a practice."

She put him at Fuji's arm. "Put your hand behind his head and place another one on his back. Now put his head on your arm and make him secure in your arm. Yes.. Like that. Look,you are a fast learner." she praised him.

"He is a tensai,Oyumi-san."

"I see. How is it,Fuji-kun?"

"It's..strange. Not in a bad way but.. I can't explain it."

"Yes,I see. I see. He is an angel when he isn't crying. But well,,all of the baby are."

Fuji nodded and looked at the baby. He was very warm and smelled good. He had a brown eyes, plumped cheeks and pinkish lips. His nose was so small,so did his hands. Fuji caressed his hand and suddenly the baby grabbed it in a deadly fist. Fuji panicked and looked at the women.

"It's okay. They tend to do that. Just call his name. He loves it."

Fuji nodded again. "Hiro.. Hiro-kun. How do you do? I'm Fuji.. Fuji.." He cooed. The baby then smiled together with him. Ayana took out the camera and caught the moment into photo.

"You will be a good father,Fuji-kun." Oyumi said.

Fuji doubted it. He even didn't intend to marry anyone,except... No. Forget it.

They went home after nine and promised the house host that they would come soon.

"It's late,Syuu-kun. There is no train at this moment." she said when he walked her to home.

"It's okay,Ayana-san. I'll take the taxi."

"It's too expensive,Syuu-kun. I know! What about spending your night here. I'll send you to the station early tomorrow."

That's the last thing Fuji would do

"It's okay,Ayana-san. I don't want to impose,really."

"Nonsense. You can sleep at Kunimitsu's room. It is vacant anyway."

She -half- dragged him to her house all of the way. Fuji surrendered and knew that it was a futile attempt to say no to a married woman,it was easier to move a mountain than to tell them what to do.

It was ten past ten when they arrived at Tezuka's residence. His mother then left him at Tezuka's room. "Feel free to use the clothes and everything else. I wash the bed cover every week in case Kunimitsu come home but he hasn't since last time. He searched for you and when he knew you moved away it broke his heart." she gave him a sad smile.

"I..." He didn't know what to reply.

"Do you meet him at Tokyo? well, It's a big city,ne.. So I'm sure it won't be that easy to meet each other."

"Yes,I do think so,too.." she just didn't know about his son persistence yet.

"Oh.. Forgive my rudeness,you must be tired. I won't disturb you any longer. Please tell me if you need something. Good night."

"Good night, Ayana-san." He closed the door. He hang his coat on the hanger next to the door. He turned around and looked at Tezuka's room. It didn't change too much except the curtain. It sure brought a nostalgia.

He put his bag next to the bed and sat on it. It has been a long time. He put his hand on its cover.

When they were still young and naive,they always spent their time here. Fuji would sat on this bed, sometimes laid on his stomach and read a book then Tezuka would sat on his desk and did his homework. When supper time came his mother would call them and they ate together. When summer came,they would play together and did homework together. How everything was easy and happy.

When did they start falling apart? Why did they should falling apart?

"Tezuka.."

He missed him so much. How he always be there for him, how he blushed shyly when Fuji said something sweet, how he loved to touch Fuji, how he always gripped on his hand when he thought Fuji was hurt.

Fuji focused his attention to the window. He could see the starless sky. He remembered when he went camping with Tezuka and his father. They spent the night watching the sky and stars. When he found a shooting star,he prayed quietly to the star that someday Tezuka would be his as he was Tezuka's. He didn't tell the older boy about his wish even the latter boy gave him his dessert for a week.

Fuji did want to believe in Tezuka. He truly was. If he was asked to picked one person to trust his life,he would choose Tezuka rightaway without any doubt. He was his everything. One one hand,he wanted Tezuka to be his but on the other hand,he was afraid. Afraid of their weak bond, about Atobe and he even afraid of his own feeling that it was too strong which could make Tezuka caged in his egoism and selfishness.

Yet,he couldn't deny it anymore. Tezuka made him fall in love again with him successfully. His tears fell a little, again and again till he had to suppress his sobs.

"I miss you,Tezuka."

 _"I was too afraid and too blind to admit it so I ran away. But I won't repeat the same mistake anymore."_

 _"I know it's unfair to say this,not after all the problems I created. But I couldn't help it. I made mistakes. I hope you would forgive me. You said Atobe deserved a second chance,do I too? Can you give a second chance to win over you?"_

 _"Fu..Syusuke. I.. Would you give a chance for me Atobe your boyfriend?" He looked straight into Fuji's eyes,his voice full of confidence and hope._

 _"I would never joke about this."_

 _"It's true. I'm sorry for what I did. All of them. I just hope that-"_

 _"Fuji. Can we talk?"_

Fuji wiped away his tears and wanted to call Tezuka. He must call him even if the taller man was busy. He wanted to hear his voice. He was walking to his coat when his foot hit against something and stack of papers fell down and scattered around the room. Fuji bit down a curse,didn't want to wake the people up.

They were post cards apparently. It was from Germany. He didn't know that Tezuka was fond of writing. He flipped the post card and surprised. It was from Tezuka to him. He looked at the post card at his right hand,this too was for him.

He blinked and collected all of the post cards. All of them were for him. They were sent regularly. Fuji felt his hands shook so much and his hearts beat so fast. His breathing was uneven. His mind moved so fast yet the puzzle hadn't found its pieces.

Why?

Why?

 _25 December 19xx_

 _Merry Christmas, it was snowing today. I hope you are here to see it with me._

 _I miss you._

 _03 January 200x_

 _How are you today? This new year is so empty. Do you still remember the new year when you said you loved me? If I said yes that day,would we be separated like this? I know I shouldn't but I regret it so much. I'm sorry._

 _I miss you._

 _29 February 200x_

 _Happy birthday to you. Your birthday do exist this year. I wish u a happy birthday, days filled with happiness, friends and families always be there for you. I sent you a birthday present. I hope you like it. When we meet again I want to share this day with you only._

 _I miss you._

The letters were exchanged from his hand one by one. He read it all. His tears didn't stop flowing. From these letters Tezuka told him what happened in Germany,as if Fuji was there with him. He showed a new side of Tezuka that he never knew before. This Tezuka was full of doubt, uncertainty, and regre. This Tezuka was so lonely and full of sadness. He didn't write it but Fuji could feel it. How sad he was. How lonely he was. How regretted he was.

 _I miss you._

"I miss you,too."

The last post card was dated on Tezuka's birthday.

 _Syusuke, It's my last card. I'm sorry. You can call me selfish but I can't let you go. Please wait for me._

 _I love you._

Tezuka loved him.

Tezuka did love him.

He cried again. "Kunimitsu. I'm sorry. Please forgive me,too." He hugged the papers tightly on his chest afraid that they would dissappear if he didn't hug it tightly. Both of them were idiots. They walked around the subject without any bravery to tell how they love each other. Tezuka with his hesitant move,afraid to took a chance while Fuji was too stubborn to hear.

"I'm sorry."

He chanted it over and over until sleep washed him away. He embraced the sleepiness gladly for he hoped he could see Tezuka faster and told him he loved him even if it's only in the dream.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm sorrryyy... I'm sooo late in uploading this. I hope you can forgive me. This is the final chapter. I can't believe it that this will be the last chapter. And don't worry, Atobe is out of the picture already. I don't know why but I can't getbrid of Atobe for my story. He is just to hilarious. Lol. for sof-san,,I'm sorry.. *kneeled* I post it now. Forgive me? *puppyeyes*

I have many things to say yet I don't know how to say. First, thank you so much for reading and always be patient with me. Thanks for all my readers and my lovely readers who left review(s) here. Again, I appreciate so much. Your review encourage me to do better. Second, I know my writing is a trashy one but I'll try to do it better and third, don't forget to stay healthy and happy everyone! ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Enjoy!

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The station was crowded as usual in the rush hour. Fortunately,the train arrived on time so more people were carried away although some people also got off of the train.

Fuji gripped his bag and leaned against the station's wall. He already stood there for an hour and hadn't decided to take an action. He contemplating over and over about what he should or shouldn't do. He was sure that some people were putting their suspicion on him for standing there without doing anything. He bit his lip again and grunted in frustration. He was standing on the station near Tezuka's apartment and didn't know what he should do next. Today Tezuka didn't call or send him his lunch as usual. He spent his break time checking on his phone,afraid that it didn't work. Yet,there was nothing. Had Tezuka gotten angry at him? Did he regret waiting for a long time? Should he go now? Maybe he can do this tomorrow.

He took out his phone and it showed seven at the evening. Tezuka should be home now.

He should ended it now otherwise their misunderstanding would be stuck and didn't change.

He took a step ahead.

But,what if Tezuka didn't want it to be better now? He ignored Tezuka for a while now and even if Tezuka was as a patient as a saint,he could get sick in waiting too,right?

He took a step behind.

He sighed and realized how ridiculous he was. It won't go anywhere.

"Okay. I'll go and if at the next turn I see a man,I'll go and settle this matter. If at the next turn I see a woman,I'll go back and do it later." He took off and walking with a nervous smile on his face.

When he had to turn left at the intersection of the station,he closed his eyes and peeking at the floor. He walked without any confidence and worrying about the results.

Here it is.

He tilted his head and opened his eyes,then he met the most familiar hazel eyes he dreamed for years now.

"Syu..Fuji." Tezuka called.

"Tezuka.." Fuji was surprised, speechless and astonished altogether. He then chuckled, he didn't only have to settle the misunderstanding now but also met the man directly.

"What is it?"

"No,nothing. Are you busy now?" He wiped away the tears at the corner of his eyes.

"No,I wasn't. Are you visiting someone at this area?"

The train must be arrived not long after their meeting since the area was so crowded suddenly. Tezuka pulled Fuji into his arms and secured him between himself and the wall. He didn't want the little man hurt or worse,harrased by someone in the crowd.

Fuji tilted his head while Tezuka was looking down at him. A little blush blossomed at Fuji's cheeks. "Pardon? Oh,yes,I am visiting someone."

Tezuka couldn't move his attention from this man and asked again,"Who?"

"You." But he quickly added,"Are you going somewhere? I don't want to disturb your plan."

His eyes are bluer than I thought. They are very attractive and yes,I would never want to share it with anyone else,Tezuka thought.

"Aa.. I am. I'm going to your place,actually." He answered after replayed Fuji's questions.

Fuji couldn't stop himself from touching Tezuka's cheek when he saw a blush on the taller man's cheeks. "So.. Let's go to your home.. And talk,maybe?" He whispered shyly.

Tezuka nodded and took Fuji's hand.

#########################

Tezuka's house was as big as he remembered. The big glass windows still gave the best view of the city. The white walls were still as mighty as before. He wondered when he could life in this kind of lifestyle too. Tezuka took his jacket and hung it together with his on the hanger next to the door.

"Please, sit anywhere you want."

Tezuka dissappeared to the kitchen. Fuji took the rocking chair and placed his bag next to it. Next to the chair was a coffee table with many different types of magazines. He took one and read,it was a traveling magazine with many tropical islands to visit. Did Tezuka want to travel somewhere?

Tezuka came back with cold drinks and placed on the table in front of Fuji and took the sofa across the smaller man.

"Thank you." Fuji put the magazine away and drank. He didn't know where to start.

"Um.. How was your day?" Fuji asked.

"Hn.. Busy."

"I see." Think,Syusuke. Think about something smart.

"About your.."

"I want to.."

They talked simultaneously.

"You can go ahead." Fuji said.

"No. You first. You tend to forget something if someone delays your speech." Tezuka reasoned.

"Maa.. It's a long time ago. I am a grown-up man now and I can remember what I want to say now,you see?"

But Tezuka looked unconvinced.

"Um.. Well,about your expanses on my lunch. I want to pay it back. I shouldn't impose you like this,you know?"

"Keep it. They were for you anyway."

Finished.

Fuji was fidgeting, It's now or never,Fuji thought.

"I went to Kanagawa yesterday to attend a wedding party and I met your mother."

"Did you?"

"Hai."

"Did she say something?" He put his hand on the armchair and leaned his temples on his knuckle,cleary relaxed.

"Is there something I shouldn't know?" Fuji replied.

"No. Actually, my mother called me this evening."

"Did she say something?" Fuji imitated.

"Nothing important." Tezuka suddenly stood up and commanded,"Let's go. I want to show you something. Come." Tezuka walked away.

Didn't see any choice,Fuji followed.

Tezuka opened the room's door. It was their room,the room which Fuji and Tezuka renovated together. It looked so warm and a little bit contrast. The wall was blue with black furnitures yet there was a fluffy blue reading chair with the table provided next to it. There were books placed in the shelf which filled almost all of the walls.

He walked to the shelf and took one of the book. It was a photography's book. Half of the shelf was filled with photography and architecture's books actually. Fuji had some of them but he didn't for the rest.

"I don't know which book is good and suitable for you but my friend recommended it to me. I hope you like it. If you don't we can exchange it with the other books."

Fuji was speechless for the second time that day. He never thought about something like this before. He never knew someone who did this like Tezuka did. It was so moving. He knew what he liked even after this long.

Tezuka took him and let Fuji sat on the reading chair. Tezuka kneeled in front of him. "Fuji. I know that we didn't start this well, yet I want this get better and I'll do my best to bring happiness to you. Can we start over again? I'm sorry for hurting you so. I'm no better than a robber. I took you for granted and left you when I should be right next to you. I broke your heart when I should protect and cherish it to the most. I know I mustn't be forgiven yet here I am,waiting for your forgiveness. As people say a loveless life..."

"...is living death" he finished Tezuka's sentence. He knew that because he read Tezuka's cards again and again till he memorized it and certainly would never forget about it anymore.

"I can't continue living without you. I know I am a foolish fool. Because One cannot love and be wise. So.. Tell me.. Can we start over again since I prefer to dissappear than living without my sunshine."

"You... I..." This is the third time he couldn't utter any words. It was the first time he heard Tezuka talked more than one paragraph and it wasn't about his bonsai.

Fuji took out Tezuka's post card and it surprised the taller man.

"I'm sorry. I found this yesterday. I didn't mean to pry about your live. I couldn't stop myself reading about it." Fuji looked guilty.

"Aa.. You found it? I thought I had put it away last time I went back to Kanagawa. I hope you like it, I wrote it when I miss you. I sent it when I realized that I had to take a chance even if it won't work out."

"I... After I read it,I realized that how complicated our relationship was. If only we stayed and listened. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for doing cruel things to you and saying those horrible things to you. I'm sorry for not listening and understanding. If there is a fool,it is me. So... I hope you still want this chance. I hope you still want..me?"

Tezuka held both of his hands on Fuji's cheeks. "Aa.. Only if you forgive me for my foolishness." He gave Fuji his smile. It's not a business smile or forced smile but a beautiful smile which came from his heart. Fuji felt his life left his body for a moment but he managed to catch it back. He never saw Tezuka's gaze like this time. He wanted to monopolize it.

"So.. Can I get a forgiveness?" Tezuka continued.

He got a small peck on his lips instead. Fuji then straightened himself after that, he bit his lower lip and blushed. If Tezuka was hoping in a small excitement,now he was laughing in a ecstatic joyful. He launched himself into Fuji and put his arms around the slender man. They laughed together for their union.

At last they could landed at the right one, a person to love and to be loved. A right place to be their ownself. Fuji never knew that his first love would be his last one too.

After their enjoyment,Tezuka sat on the chair and put Fuji on his laps. "What happened to your hair?"

Fuji touched his chin length hair. "Ah? This? My client brought his sons to our office this morning and they were quite a disaster. They played with their bubble gums and sticked it anywhere they seemed fit. Unfortunately,one of them was my hair. I couldn't extract it from my hair so cutting it was the easiest way. Is it bad?"

Tezuka shook his head and combed his hand through Fuji's hair. "Nope. I love both styles,short and long hair. They're suitable for you."

"Biased." Fuji teased.

"Hn.. For you,always."

Fuji chuckled,he put his arms around Tezuka's shoulder and hugged him. "I can't believe this. I think this is a dream. I must be dreaming. There is no way Tezuka nii-chan would become mine." Fuji sighed and closed his eyes.

"It's not. I'll show you again and again that this is not a dream. I'll never let you go." His hands came around Fuji's waist and kissed his head.

The door bell rang and startled Fuji. "Are you inviting someone?" _Is it Atobe?_

"Hn.. Wait here."

Tezuka left him behind and answered his guest. Fuji couldn't stand still so he followed. There were several men wearing uniform, walking around the livingroom and put many things on the table. Foods, wine, flowers and boxes of present.

"Is that all Tezuka-san?" one of the man asked while touching his hat.

"Hn.."

"Please sign it here." He gave Tezuka a paper and it was signed rightaway. The apartment was back to its silence after their departure.

Fuji froze in his place. He looked at Tezuka with unbelieving eyes. "What happened?"

"My first step to show you how I appreciate and love you."

"I.. It's not necessary, I am satisfied only by your side. As long as we stay next to each other.

"But I want to spoil you." Tezuka reached out for him.

"I don't know you have this romantic side,Tezuka."

"It's Kunimitsu for you,Syusuke." He then sat on his sofa. "Come here."

Fuji blushed. He sat on the furthest side of the sofa,far from Tezuka's side.

"Closer." Tezuka commanded.

Fuji shifted but it wasn't satisfying for Tezuka, so the taller man asked him to scoot over again till Fuji's tight pressed to his. "Is this close enough?" Fuji narrowed his eyes and tilted his head higher, giving a challenge.

"Nope." Tezuka chuckled and lifted Fuji then placed him on his lap just like before. Fuji surprised and placed his hands on Tezuka's shoulder.

"This is close but not enough."

"Whaaa.." Tezuka leaned over and kissed Fuji senselessly. He took his time to taste the sweetness and warmth of Fuji. He poured all of his loneliness, love, hope, affection into this kiss hoping that Fuji could accept and understand it. He never knew that hugging somone would be this satisfying. He ran his tongue into Fuji's mouth and met the blue eyed man's. He put his hand on Fuji's nape,didn't want to let him go quickly. They fought for a domination for a while until he felt a smack,well smacks on his shoulder. He raised his head and met Fuji's blushing face. He clearly ran out of oxygen.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away." He caressed Fuji's cheeks.

"Obviously. I thought I was seeing stars just now."

"Hn.. I didn't know that my kiss could take your breath away." Tezuka teased.

"So funny." Fuji still tried to catch his breath.

"Let's eat. I ordered foods. I hope you like it."

"Only if you feed it to me." Fuji said.

"Gladly."

#########################

It was morning, Fuji knew it. The morning sunlight bathed him and made him want to snuggle and skip his work. The bed was so warm and smelled good. He was surrounded by the warmth of a big teddy bear-a human sized teddy bear to be exact. Then, three things occured in his mind,first his window directed to west so he got sunset everyday not the sunrise. Second,this smell was different from his own smell,it was nicer. Third,someone was kissing his shoulder, his naked shoulder.

"Good morning. You are awake?"

Fujil's eyes opened and he found out immediately. He was in Tezuka's room,in Tezuka's bed and was kissed by Tezuka's lips. His sleepiness was dissappeared in instance.

He turned around to face Tezuka with his bulging eyes. "Good morning,lovely." Tezuka greeted.

The God truly loved this man, he looked so regal and handsome even if his hair was more tousled than usual and he had his sleepy eyes. Yet,here Fuji was, admiring and fell in love with this man again. "Am I dreaming?"

"I hope not since I get you finally and I don't intend to let you go anymore, so no." Tezuka scooped Fuji into his arm and put his chin above Fuji's head.

"What happened last night? What time is it now?" Fuji asked hastily.

"Nothing happened. You were drunk after the second glass and slept till now. Do you want to drink?"

Fuji looked at Tezuka and nodded. "If it's okay."

Tezuka went to the kitchen and back with a pitcher and a glass. "Here."

"Thank you." Tezuka sat next to him with a unreadable expression. "Can you stop staring at me like that?" Fuji asked.

"Like what,do you mean?"

"That! Like.. I am some alien who you need to observe 24/7 and please put on a shirt. And where is mine?" Fuji closed his eyes with his hands but he couldn't hide his blush.

The hazel-eyed man took Fuji's hand and placed it to his cheeks. "Why? I am sure I am enjoying the view. I don't mind you to enjoy it too."

"Do you always say these mushy things to all of your lovers, Tezuka Kunimitsu?" Fuji asked with an accusing gaze.

"You said it as if I had so many affairs before."

"Oh,well.. I am not sure, given the eleven years apart. It's not a difficult task to find a lover for a man like you, no?" Fuji teased with a little smile.

"How many do you think?"

"I don't know, eleven? One for each year?"

"Eleven? And you say that I am popular." Tezuka said with a disappointed expression.

"What an arrogant man." He messed Tezuka's hair.

"Did you meet someone who was interesting for these years?" Tezuka's voice back into his serious tone.

"A lot."

Tezuka raised his brows.

"But they weren't as interesting as you and they couldn't get rid the feeling I have for you. I tried so many times, I knew that you couldn't be mine so I tried my best to move on. Koujiro always..."

Tezuka stopped his speech with a long kiss till Fuji flushed. "Wha.. I'm trying to explain here, Tezuka.. Koujiro tried.."

Again, Tezuka kissed him with a longer period and lingered kisses around his neck. "It's Kunimitsu and he is Saeki to you."

Fuji chuckled knowing Tezuka was jealous of Saeki. "Maa.. Koujiro is Koujiro. He has always been my best friend and we can't change that."

"I can change that." Tezuka said with a determined gaze.

"You can't. Now, move, I have to go to work." He shushed Tezuka away yet the taller man in front of him didn't budge from his place.

"Tezuka.."

"Kunimitsu, Syusuke."

In his life,he never dreamed or even imagined that oneday he would be able to call Tezuka with his given name. Fuji tried to escape but Tezuka didn't let him.

"Say, Kunimitsu."

"Ku...kunimi.. I can't. It's so embarrassing!"

"Then I won't move till you can call me using my name." He caged the smaller man into his arms. Their skin touched each other caused the smaller man blushed madly.

"Are you insane? I can die in an embarrassment! I have to work. Let's talk about it later, okay?"

"No."

Tezuka tackled him and they landed on the bed with Fuji on his back and Tezuka towered above him.

"It's weekday! We have to work!" Fuji tried to explain.

"It's our day off. So you can learn all day long."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. I called your friend and asked her to give me your boss' number. You get a week off."

When did he? Fuji laughed. It was hilarious. He could imagine how surprised his boss was. Tezuka never did his jobs half-heartedly and unfinished.

"Tezuka..." Fuji said between his laugh.

"Kunimitsu. Try. . ."

"I can't! Oh my gosh what should I do with my vacation? It's too sudden. I never got any vacation except for golden week. Oh, I can ask Koujiro to travel with me."

"Don't you dare."

"Well,do you have any idea? I want this short vacation be meaningful."

Tezuka leaned over to Fuji's ear and whispered his ideas which caused the smaller man blushed furiously. "You can't be serious!"

"I am. Do you want me to show it to you?"

Fuji eyes widened and showed Tezuka his brilliant blue color. He then nodded despite his blush. "Yes.. Show it to me."

Tezuka leaned over to his lover and their laugh were muffled by their kisses.

#########################

That Christmas Tezuka brought Fuji to his parents' house and introduced him as his lover. Fuji kept holding Tezuka's hand tightly when they arrived. He was afraid that Tezuka's family wouldn't be agree with their relationship, he was a boy next door and he knew deep down their heart they wanted Tezuka to bring home a beautiful and smart bride to continue their name. But his worry seemed to be meaningless, they accepted his and Tezuka's relationship with a smile.

They spent their holiday and new year at Tezuka's residence. Ayana didn't let this chance slip away, she told Fuji about Tezuka's childhood stories before he met Fuji. She even told him how Tezuka adored him in every way possible.

"He even called one of his bonsai with Syu,although subtlety." she said with a smal giggle.

Fuji gazed at Tezuka who sat across the room and pretending to read his magazine although he didn't turn to the next page for one hour already.

"I'm so happy that finally you will be my second son, Syuu-kun." she patted Fuji's hand and gave him a motherly smile.

"So do I, Ayana-san."

"Ara.. You can call me mother, too, now. Ne, Kunimitsu, when will you be able to arrange Syuu-kun's adoption?"

"Aa.. Soon. I think after this holiday." He answered quickly and his magazine was forgotten already.

"That's great! We will have a celebration here! I'll arrange it for you."

Fuji didn't want any celebration for he needed Tezuka only. Well, they might have an small party for family and friends but not for public. He and Tezuka were private people and they didn't want to share their live to other people unless they were family and close friends.

Tezuka must realize his problem so he interfered his mother's plan. "I don't think it's a wise thing to do. I don't want people to talk about Syusuke and this adoption unless they ask. I want to keep Syusuke safe from people as long as I can."

"Are you sure?" she didn't look convinced.

"Hn.."

"Okay. I think I will accept it for now." she sighed. Fuji mouthed a thank you to the tousled haired man and was replied by an I love you from the said man. Fuji blushed.

#########################

After his adoption into Tezuka's family, Fuji moved to Tezuka's apartment. They spent almost all of their time together. Tezuka would wake up earlier and made breakfast after his exercise. They had breakfast together and went to work together. In the evening Fuji would prepare the dinner and did the laundry while waiting for Tezuka. On the weekend they would go to hiking, visiting the park, enjoying their time together, it depend on their mood. They had spent their weekend in the bedroom once and Fuji had to go to work limping. Saeki told him that he looked like an old man. That night he suffered a nightmare from Fuji's curse.

They didn't hear any news about Atobe anymore. Tezuka assured Fuji that there was nothing to worry about. Fuji although a bit apprrehensive but chose to believe in Tezuka.

Tezuka still persistent that Fuji shouldn't call Saeki by his given name. Fuji didn't pay him any attention. When Fuji's birthday came, Saeki brought his girlfriend to their home. She was a cute little woman. She had a lovely smile yet she was a total opposite of Saeki. When Saeki was an outgoing man, she was a reserved woman with her own serious side. He was a lazy man yet she was a strict woman with her own schedule.

"She is just like you, Kunimitsu." Fuji said when they went sleep that night. Fuji slept next to his lover and put his head on his chest.

Tezuka caressed Fuji's silky hair spontaneously. "How so?"

"Kou.. Saeki is just like me, we are free souls with a big dream, we love to reach out the sky and sometimes we forget to land back on the earth. We get lost easily and he tend to cause problems. That's why we need someone like you and his girlfriend. To remind us that there is someone here, waiting for us with much love and understanding."

"Hn.. But I won't restraint you from doing what you love, Syusuke. I love you for what you are. If you decided to be an astronaut, i'll buy a telescope, keep staring at the sky and I believe that you'll back to me eventually." Tezuka responded.

"What if I want to be an archeologist?" Fuji sat up next to Tezuka.

"So let it be. No matter how far you go, I'll be here." He took Fuji's hand and placed it on his heart. "This will be your home whenever you feel lost and tired. No matter how far, I'll be here."

"Kunimitsu.. I.. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to be next to you. Can I?"

"With a pleasure." Tezuka tugged Fuji's head and sealed their vow with a sweet kiss.

People say that love hurt but it's not true. Love never hurt anyone. It is the person itself who is too afraid to listen, too afraid to confess, too afraid to step ahead because they afraid that they would be hurt in the end. But,what would we learn if we are too afraid to be gotten hurt? Don't they say that what doesn't kill you can make you stronger? So if you have something to say;say it now, something to do;do it now, someone to love;love them till your last breath.

Fuji lift his head with the flushed cheeks. "I love you."

Tezuka took his time and caressed Fuji's cheeks. He never got bored by Fuji's blushing. "Hn.."

"Mou.. Mitsu.." Fuji pouted.

"I love you,too. I love you my little Syusuke. I love you, all of you. I love your sweet voice, I love your passion, I love your big heart, I love your strength, I even love your extraordinary taste buds."

"Whaa.." Fuji tried to smash him but he was blocked.

"And I love how you respond to all of my antics. Can I kiss you now?" Tezuka continued.

"That's so un-romantic of you, Mitsu." yet he gave in and kissed Tezuka instead. He then snuggled to the taller man and together they drift off to the dream land.

* * *

There! Finally, the last chapter! Don't worry guys, I have several stories in my mind but I haven't decided which to go with. I hope you like the ending. Stay tuned! See you again!


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